Bad Timing | Satoru Gojo | Toji Fushiguro | Jujutsu Kaisen

Epilogue

A Month and A Half Later:

Soft music in my ears, warmth in my cheeks, and eyes glued to the glass window next to me. I watched the white, soft crystals of snow slowly feather over. Coating the city outside in a thin layer of snow. My lips twitched and tugged in a small smile, reminiscing about the last time I watched the first snow fall like this. It felt like ages, a lifetime, decades, not only a few years ago...

I would be lying, if I said I don't miss it. That small ache piercing in my heart every now and then, that lightheadedness that comes with those memories, it's the longing that I'll always feel towards those few years I'd lived there, in that time, that place. That apartment, next to him.

I used to say that I was shapeless, after his death. That he had built me, created the mold that shaped me, birthed me into life again. And when he was gone, his hands let go of me, and that mold fell, broke and shattered. And I ended up deformed, lost, and filled with so, so much hatred. That it consumed me, overfilled my judgements, and somehow and unintentionally led the life that I thought I was leading for me.

And not until I faced death myself, not until that aching heart started bleeding, yet still beating, full of life and so many emotions I thought I had already lost in the ashes of those times I burnt and let go of. That I realized, I'm not that shapeless. And maybe, just maybe, I'm just like that snow. I can shatter, I can melt, change, yet I'll always be there. Ready to be reshaped, re-birthed, and form myself all over again.

I didn't fathom this thought well, before. I always focused in the endings of things. Death, breaking, escaping, always looking for some chapter ends. I never thought, that with these endings, beginnings form, new starts, and new lives. I just wanted things to end, end, end.... My old life, the pain, myself. Only because what I had with Toji had ended. But now, sitting here in this small mall's cafe, waiting, I wanted to laugh. Laugh so hard. At those times and at my old self. The way I used to think. Sure I'm grateful for everything that had happened to me, and sure I still want those endings, but now I want them so much because they promised those new beginnings as well. And I wanted and craved the feelings of them more, more than anything else...

That's why I left the Jujutsu Academy back in November and handed my resignation letter. Because I craved this new start I was in, this new chapter. Again. I'm still grateful, so grateful. For my time there with them, the little good, and the messy bad. For the chance to meet and know Megumi, those kids, and for him. Satoru. And whatever we had caused and done, I'm deeply grateful....

"Hey, sorry I'm late!" A breathless, shallow voice sucked my head out of my thoughts violently and forced me to snap out. Turning my head from the window and towards the scraping chair in front of me. My eyes softened and my lips smirked.

"Nobara forced us to carry all her Christmas shopping to the taxi down there." Megumi huffed, his cheeks a rosy shade as he sat. He looked like he rushed to get here.

"It's okay, you're not late." I said, now crossing my arms over the small round table between us. "How are they, anyway?"

"Okay, I guess. They're taking this Christmas gathering a little too seriously." He ran his fingers through his hair then rested one arm over the table. He was wearing a thick jacket over his uniform, and a scarf wrapped around his neck that he started to take off.

I smiled, then giggled. "And why not? I think it's fun what Yaga is doing, a little Christmas party for the students, gifts exchanging." I squinted my eyes and leaned forward to him. "Boosting that family feeling."

Megumi scoffed, then shook his head. His mouth finally breaking a smile. "Right, what a family!"

"Hey, now!" I tilted my head to the side, reaching my hand to slap his shoulder gently. "Stop acting like an old cranky grandpa, and learn how to have fun a little. Will ya? Cherish those little times with them, trust me, before it all goes away."