Forgotten Fates

Chapter One

Finn

I bolt upright in bed, covered in sweat and gasping for air. I look around the dark bedroom before releasing a groan and falling back onto my pillow to stare up at the ceiling.

"Just another dream," I whisper to the darkness.

Every time I close my eyes I am back in the same nightmare. Alice, telling me she doesn't love me. Me finding her note. Her being gone. The worst part of this nightmare... It's not just a dream.

Knowing I won't be able to sleep anymore tonight, I kick off my blanket and go to the window. I gaze across the backyard before settling my sights on her living room window, just like I find myself doing every night. Hoping to see a light on, a curtain move, or anything else that could mean she's there. But like always, all is dark and quiet.

I pull her note out of my wallet and read it again.

Finn,

I want to start by telling you how truly sorry I am for what I am about to do. By the time you find this letter I will already be gone and by the time you finish reading it you will probably hate me. I'm leaving town and I'm not sure when or even if I will be back. Last night shouldn't have happened I'm sorry that I let it. You deserve someone so much better. I hope someday you can forgive me.

Alice

I fold it back up and reach for my phone as I contemplate calling her for the millionth time since she left, before changing my mind and throwing it across the room in frustration. Then, not feeling like that was enough, I use my arms to swipe everything off my desk and onto the floor. I even pick up my books and toss them across the room for good measure.

I am breathing heavy debating whether I want to get my anger in check or just unleash it all, when a light knock gets my attention. My sister Zoey is standing in the doorway looking at me cautiously.

"Everything okay?" she asks.

"Fine," I bark, then more gently, "I'm fine, Zo. Really."

"She can't stay gone forever."

"That doesn't mean she will want to talk to me when she does come back," I tell her, and she offers me a sad smile before she starts to close the door.

"You know, if you put one more dent into the wall mom and dad are going to start noticing," she adds before finally taking her exit.

I sigh and start to pick up my books, feeling guilty for the possibility of causing extra stress in my parent's lives. It's lucky they weren't home tonight and were spending the night with my aunt and uncle a couple of towns over.

My Aunt was having a baby which apparently could take hours. So, even though they left before sunrise this morning when they got the distress call, they were still there and waiting for the little bundle to arrive. It took a lot for Zoey and I to convince them that everything would be fine if they stayed longer, and if they ended up coming home to their house being torn apart I would never forgive myself for it.

My phone starts ringing and I practically leap across the room for it, surprised that it didn't break from the impact with the wall. I can't help hoping it could be her while at the same time knowing that it won't be.

I groan when I see Callie's name lit up and decline the call. Then let out a second groan when my home screen comes up and I see that it's three in the morning. And behind the time display I also see Alice's smiling face that I refuse to change as my background picture.

Despite the time, Callie starts to call again forcing me to decline it a second time. "That girl really has no boundaries when she wants something," I say to myself, then shudder.

Just the thought of being with her makes me feel disgusted with myself and I can't understand why I have no problem rejecting her now, but whenever I see her in person, I can't manage to stay away. I know she's hot, but even the novelty of her looks has faded for me. Yet, I go with her every time.

I try to convince myself it is just because it helps dull the pain of losing Alice, but I can't help but feel like it is more than that. I'm just not sure what that something could possibly be. Maybe the crazy chick cast some kind of love spell on me or has a Finn voodoo doll made from my hair. Neither would surprise me.

Putting all thoughts of Callie out my head, I grab my jacket and head to my car, my destination set for the gazebo in the woods. Just like I've done every night for the past five days since Alice left. She may claim that our night together was a mistake, but I know it couldn't be farther from the truth. It may not have been my first time in the stricter sense, but in many ways it kind of was. It was the first time I had ever been in love with someone while being with them.

My phone goes off again, and when I start to get mad her for calling so many times in the middle of the night, I realize what a hypocrite I am. It's the same thing I have been doing to Alice. And she probably hates me the same way I do Callie. "No!' I shout and slam my hand down on the steering wheel. What Alice and I had was real. I had to believe that.

When I get to what I now think of as our gazebo, I pull out my knife and continue carving her name on the railing. Even if she never comes back to me, this spot will always be ours.

I stay for a couple of hours, just sitting in the quiet and remembering the night we had here, until the cold has completely numbed my body. Then a text from Zoey saying she's worried has me heading back to the car. She has enough to deal with, I can't let her worry about me, too.

"I'm back. Happy?" I ask as I climb the stairs and head straight to my room.

"No, I'm not happy. I hate seeing you like this," she says, following after me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. Again," I tell her. "I'm just tired."

"Tomorrow's Monday," She says hopefully. "Think she will be at school?"

"I doubt it." My phone rings for what feels like the millionth time, and after a brief glance at the screen I put it back in my pocket.

"I can't believe you are still messing with that horrible witch," Zoey sneers.

"Mind your own businesses," I say, feeling annoyed.

"Maybe if you didn't keep entertaining her, Alice wouldn't have left."

Her words are like a knife in my gut and I have to really try to hold back my anger. "You have no idea why she left. So, keep your mouth shut about it," I growl.

She narrows her eyes at me but doesn't say anything else and crosses the hall to her room.

When she's gone, I lay on my bed and think about Alice's note, and the real reason she left, until the image of her face in my mind begins to hurt too much. I reach under my bed for the bottle of whiskey I've recently started keeping there and remove my jacket. Sitting at the gazebo and letting the cold numb my body was the closest thing to easing the pain I've had since she left. Besides getting blackout drunk that is. Makes me wonder what both will accomplish.

I open my bedroom window to crawl out onto the roof with my bottle. I take a few gulps as the cold air send goosebumps all over my body, and I shiver. My eyes find their way over to her house again and for a split second I think I see someone standing in the living room. But when after a couple of minutes nothing moves, I figure it is just the shadow of something. Or possibly that I have started hallucinating.

I take a few more swigs of the warm liquor and then close my eyes to replay the last night I spent with her in my mind. I know I am only torturing myself, but I can't help it. It's the only way I can I pretend she's still here. Still mine.

Then I pull my knees up to my chest and cry.