My Enigma

Chapter Thirteen

(Aurora's POV)

After a few minutes, I remove my hand from Connor's grasp because it's starting to feel a little awkward.

"Maybe we should rejoin the others?"I say as I sip the now almost-finished delicious milkshake.

"Yeah, we probably should."He says but stays seated. "What do you think about everything that I have told you?"

"I'm honestly still in shock, and I'm still processing everything," I say truthfully because it feels like I am dreaming, not the good kind of dream either.

What am I supposed to say to Connor when I have clearly developed feelings for Luke? I know it's just a silly crush that will probably fade away on its own, but yet again, what if it doesn't?

I have never seen Connor as more than my best friend, and we are so fragile right now. If I told him that, it would only hurt him more, and I think I have hurt him enough. I don't even know how we kissed, and some part of me is glad that I don't remember, but he does, and it seems it meant a lot to him, but how do I tell him that it may have been just a drunk kiss and it probably meant nothing?

I can't.

And yet, if I don't, he may have false hope about what the future entails for the both of us, and speaking from experience, I know how it feels to be led on, and it doesn't feel nice at all. So I think I will try and let him down easy so that I don't end up hurting him more. I'm just going to tell him my truth.

"Connor.." I begin with a serious tone as he looks up at me and stops the sip he was taking from his drink."I don't want to hurt you, but I also don't want to lead you on."

"How would you be leading me on?"

"By not being honest. Connor, you have been my best friend for the longest time, and I have never thought of you as more than my best friend. I'm sorry." I say, and I see a flash of hurt cross Connor's face, Fuck! I should not have said it like that, but I feel as though no matter what words I would have used, it would have still hurt.

"I care about you immensely, and I know that we are working on our friendship, and this is not easy to hear, but I would rather be honest, and you let me go rather than blindside you," I add.

"I know, and just to make things clear, I didn't tell you all of this because I wanted us to be a thing; I mean, of course, I do, but my intention was for you to know why I was acting like a jerk lately. I don't want you to feel pressured or for anything to change between us now that you know how I feel about you. I just want my best friend back." He says with his voice full of hurt, and even though he says that he doesn't want anything to change between us, it sadly already has.

"I get that. I want my best friend back too." I say honestly with a small smile.

"Thanks. Can we not tell the group about my embarrassing confession?" He asks shyly.

"Of course. This will remain between us." Although my therapist will definitely hear about this, she needs to help me process it.

" Thanks. Want to go back to the group?" He asks, and I nod.

We get up, taking our drinks with us, and as we near them, I can hear their laughter and animated conversation fill the air; I slide into the booth and sit next to Luke as Connor slides in next to Hanna. It may look or seem too mean that I slid in next to Luke after having that talk with Connor, but I couldn't help it. Something just draws me to Luke.

If things are ever going to go back to the way they used to be with me and Connor, then I guess he has to get used to me hanging out with other guys, especially Luke, cause I like him, and maybe this way, Connor will lose feelings for me in the process.