My Enigma

Chapter Fourteen

(Auroras POV)

As the week went by, I could feel the awkwardness between Connor and I begin to fade, Our friendship was starting to bloom again and it felt good to have that connection back, However small and delicate it was. We were still very fragile but at least it's better than nothing and in this way, there is no awkwardness within the group.

However, things were still a bit weird between us because of the fact that Connor has feelings for me and I did not reciprocate them, It was something we never really talked about since that day but every time we would hang out together or he would see me hanging out with Luke or just laughing with him, I could sense it in his eyes. And deep down, I could not help but feel a pang of guilt.

One day as we sat in our usual spot under the sprawling oak tree that surrounded the school's football field (Connor, Hanna, and I would always sit there whenever we were free because it's a nice way to get in touch with nature and plus we just loved it, it had been our spot for the longest time), Connor looked at me with a mix of longing and frustration.

"Aurora," he began, his voice soft but filled with emotion."I know things can never truly go back to the way they were between us, but I'm really glad we are friends again. I value our connection, even if it hurts sometimes,"

I stared back at him, searching for the right words to say that would not increase the hurting and the wounds he currently has. "I feel the same way, Connor. I cherish our friendship too," I say honestly. As much as it was true, it didn't make the situation any less complicated. There is sadly always going to be an underlying tension, a silent dance of unspoken words and unfulfilled desires, hanging between us.

"I'm sorry you are hurting Connor, would you like me to give you some space?" I ask concerned because I know it cannot be easy for him to see me on a daily basis knowing I don't feel the same for him as he does for me.

"If space from you was all it took then I would have lost feelings for you after you distanced yourself from us, so to answer your question: no I don't want space from you. I just got you back, I'm not trying to lose you again," he says in a soft tone.

"What would work for you?" I ask.

"Don't worry Rory, it's a me problem, I'll be okay," he says and starts getting up.

"Where are you going?"I ask as I get up as well because it seems silly talking to a person who is standing and I am seated on the ground.

"Hanna just texted, she said your mum is looking for you," he said as we started making our way to the parking lot.

You are probably wondering why my mum is picking me up, well after our last hangout at infinity shakes, Mum was really pissed at me because I ditched school twice and they were the first days of school. She said she understood why I ditched on the first day but the second one was not acceptable and that I was starting a bad habit, so ever since then she has been picking me up and dropping me off at school and when she gets held up, she sends an Uber.

I'm not mad or anything, I totally get it and she also hasn't grounded me so that's also a plus. She also tried to suggest that me ditching school was a way of grieving Levi and it was not a healthy way to do that. I honestly still don't know what to think of that cause damn! It was only two days, she made it seem like it had been happening for a week or two, Why are parents like this?

We met up with Luke, Gabe, and Hanna in the parking lot, they ditched classes to go smoke weed after lunch, and Connor and I stayed to cover for them and plus as much as I wanted to go, I could not because:

1. I have not tried weed yet and I don't want to embarrass myself in front of everyone if I start acting weirdly.

2. Mum is keeping a close eye on me, she even told the teachers to call her if I miss to attend any class.

Damn! I really should have called her that day and informed her I was ditching, I think things would have been different if I had. I hug everyone goodbye and save the best for last, Luke.

"Bye, Rory. I'll text you later." Luke whispers as he hugs me, softly brushing his lips on my cheek.

"Bye Luke. " I say smiling.

As I start heading towards my mum's car which is parked not too far from where we were standing, I start thinking about how my relationship with Luke has been deepening each passing day. Every time we spend time with each other, we discover new shared interests and experience a sense of comfort that is both exhilarating and terrifying. It is as if we are drawn to each other, pulled by an invincible force that neither of us can resist.

Luke and I share a connection that goes beyond words, It's in the way I find solace in his presence and it's in the way he looks at me, as if I held the answers to his deepest questions and yet he won't ask them. Luke knows so much about me and yet I struggle to know anything about him, he is very cagey about himself, and often when I have tried to ask him about something personal, he is usually really dodgy with the answers and sometimes he ignores the question all altogether. I understand that guys take a while to open up so I won't press him. Neither am I in a hurry but maybe someday I will be able to decipher the mystery that is Luke. 

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Hello everyone!

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Lots of love,

-Alegna.