Night Shift [h.s]

eight

☁️ ALANNAH ☁️

I had made it my mission to get away from Harry and ignore his existence the moment he started asking me what I was hiding from him. I ran like the wind and buried myself within patients for the rest of the shift. I done everything I could to avoid Harry and Niall, which ultimately meant avoiding Rosie too. The three of them seemed to have some little friendship group formed and I was the one intruding.

So I spent the majority of my second shift hiding from all three of them, pretending I was busy with patients and when I didn't have my hands tied with a patient, I snuck off to the toilet to avoid any type of awkward conversations.

Though it slightly backfired on me when I ended up working with none other than Jessie Brogen for most of the night, who constantly just wanted to know why there were police questioning staff and particularly spending a lot of there time in a private room where I knew Ariel was.

Jessie seemed to itch for the drama, she could hardly keep herself away.

Eventually the shift ended and I had never been so thankful to rush back home and snuggle with my girl. I don't think I had ever rushed through my front door as quickly as I did this morning, right on time to allow Grace to head to college whilst I got to have some time with my little lady.

Again, it was tempting to just not send her to school, I was craving a whole day spent with her, just begging for the weekend to roll around so I could get to be in her presence for the whole day. I felt like I hardly saw her when I was working nights. Only for about an hour in the mornings and about three hours after school. It wasn't enough time though it was still a whole lot better than being on a day shift. I felt like I could actually be a mother again.

Though I had no choice but to send her into school when the tiredness was starting to get to me and as much as I loved my little girl and I loved spending time with her, I was no use as a mother when I was running on little to no sleep. I was useless to her when I could hardly even keep my eyes open.

I needed to sleep everything off. I needed to sleep so I felt a little more like myself. I needed to sleep so I could actually function at work tonight and so I wasn't a zombie all the damn time. Maybe then I wouldn't be such an emotional wreck if I actually got at least five hours sleep behind me. Maybe then I wouldn't break down at the smallest of things and maybe then I would be able to face Harry instead of quivering away like a scared little dog.

I needed to find some courage within me. I needed to be brave and just talk to him. The most he was going to do was get mad at me and I could handle that. I had handled a man getting mad at me before, this was hardly my first rodeo.

I fell asleep after dropping Harmony off at school, dreaming of Harry and playing out how the fuck I was supposed to talk to him like an adult rather than shying away. I had created about a million different scenarios in my head to the point where I had exhausted myself and nearly missed my alarm to go and pick Harmony up from school which would've caused a whole other host of problems that I just didn't have time for.