Night Shift [h.s]

ten

☁️ ALANNAH ☁️

I was fucked. So very fucked. Fucked beyond compare. None of this was supposed to happen. It was a one night thing, and I had told myself from the moment that it was over that I wasn't to make that kind of mistake again. Yet here I was in his sisters bloody café having coffee with him whilst I spill out the news that I've got a daughter.

I don't think anyone could've ever predicted that I'd be here, doing this with him.

This was never my plan, though in fairness, fucking Harry the night of Ashleigh and Conner's wedding was never in my plan either. I was just there for the free food and drinks, as well as a night away from my responsibilities. Never in a million years did I ever think it would land me up here. Sitting in Harry's passenger seat with a box of homemade cake on my lap that his sister had made.

It was all too domestic. It was like something you'd watch in a movie or read in a book. It wasn't something that I thought would one day become my reality. And whilst it was something I often dreamt about, I had a hard time accepting the fact that it was actually happening. Because I wasn't even sure if I wanted this from Harry. Everything was moving so fast, I couldn't get a hold on myself.

Life was running away from me and I couldn't keep up. I couldn't run fast enough, I couldn't swim or keep myself afloat and I hate the fact that Harry makes me feel so confused inside. My head feels all jumbled up and my emotions keep switching every two seconds, I'm never really sure what to think or what to say, it's like a maze in my brain, every corner I turn seems to be a dead end and I'm never really left with any answers as to why I feel this way.

Harry has a lot to answer for. He's come along like a whirlwind and disrupted whatever peace I had already formed. I thought I was doing okay, I thought I was coping, but it seems now that I'm not. I needed to get a grip.

"It's um- it's this flat here" I mumble my words out, trying to keep all conversations to a minimum to prevent anymore awkward moments where I just can't help myself and I somehow end up telling him more about my life like this was a 'get to know me'.

I don't know why I felt so comfortable around him to say such things. I swear, if I didn't bite my tongue, I would've told him everything by now, including my bloody social security number. I was already down so bad for this man.

He doesn't force anything out of me, but he just has such a way with his words and his personality. I don't know how he does it or what his tactic is, but somehow he just manages to squeeze every little answer out of me though he does it without pressuring me in the slightest. When I'm with him, things just feel different and I can't quite put my finger on what it is that I'm feeling. I'm just confused. Confused on how we had both gotten to this point so quickly. I had only held my job for three days and already I had gotten myself into a sticky situation.