Night Shift [h.s]

thirty four

This chapter is a continuation from the last. It will include talks of injuries, blood, death and road accidents.

☁️ ALANNAH ☁️

I didn't know what to do with myself. I could hardly even stand up straight, let alone compose a genuine and rational thought.

Niall had ushered me out of the trauma bay and away from the chaos in the waiting room, he near enough had to drag my weak body all the way to the family room where we send only the worst of cases. It wasn't very often that we sent families to wait there. If we sent anybody there, it was usually worse case scenario and perhaps that was why I could hardly breathe in this stuffy room that was filled with inspirational quotes as if that was supposed to make life feel any better.

It didn't help that there were pamphlets on grief sitting in the corner of the room, haunting me and making me feel more uncomfortable than ever. Every time I caught sight of them, my heart squeezed in my chest and it was suddenly hard to breathe.

When this was all over, I needed to find out who put them there. I needed to get them gone so they weren't taunting anybody else who had to sit in this position. They were sending daggers into my soul.

Aside from the inspirational quotes on the wall and the leaflets telling you exactly how to deal with grief, the room was completely silent. Perhaps too silent in fact. The type of silence that stole lives.

I didn't even particularly have the energy to cry or scream out. I just kind of sat there, staring into space, my mind in a completely different world. Maybe it was a way of coping, or maybe I really just couldn't face reality right now, though all my mind was doing was tormenting me.

Those scenes I had just witnessed in the trauma bay were replaying over and over again in my head. It was a stuck record of blood and doctors strong voices asking for more help or asking for medications. All I could see in my mind was flashes of blue lights, paramedics running into the ED, a stretcher homing Harry, blood smeared over his chest and his face, the monitors beside him showing his irregular breathing, glass imbedded in his skin, his face as pale as anything, a nurse pumping air into his lungs.

All of it felt like a nightmare. It was stuff that nightmares were made out of. The type of scenes that would only play out in a strange action film that didn't really have much point, or in a nightmare. What my eyes had seen in the past twenty minutes would forever live in my nightmares. It'd haunt me every time I even closed my eyes. The vision would be right there and it's terrifying. My stomach had been churning this whole entire time and I don't think it was a symptom of pregnancy this time.

"Do you um- do you want some water maybe?" Niall croaks out from beside me.

He hadn't left my side since he nearly bumped into me in the trauma bay. He hadn't even moved an inch away from me. He lead me into the family room and sat right beside me, we had practically sat in silence ever since.