Night Shift [h.s]

twenty seven

☁️ ALANNAH ☁️

If I was being completely honest, my mind had been a bit of a mess just recently, especially after Harry had so suddenly found out about this child that I was homing. I wasn't expecting him to find out in that way. I thought I'd have to stand in front of him and awkwardly break the news to him. I never thought it would be like this.

Though I suppose in a way, I was grateful that I didn't have to be the person to tell him. I didn't want to be the person to deliver his fate, I didn't want him to hate me for it. I don't know why I just assumed that Harry would blame me and get mad at me for being pregnant, I don't know why my brain naturally jumped to that conclusion when Harry had never acted in a way that would make me think in that way. Harry wasn't the type of person to get mad and fly off the handle. Sure, I've seen him get a little angry and I've heard him raise his voice, but I had never seen him in the way my brain had been perceiving him just recently. My brain was making him out to be a monster.

And Harry was upset with me, I got that part right, he was disappointed that I hadn't told him sooner, though he was mostly upset that I had lied to him. From his perspective, I had lied right through my teeth. I had told him that I wasn't pregnant and then I few weeks later I was turning up as ten weeks pregnant, surely that was enough to make anyone rage.

After Harry's initial shock of finding out his fate, he actually seemed pretty chilled out about it all. He took it in his stride and seemed to accept it quite quickly, we had even been joking about who was to be on the night feeds and who was going to be on nappy duty. Though I did wonder if those jokes were purely to mask the anxiety that was coursing through his veins. I wasn't entirely sure where his head was at, I knew when I asked him what was going through his mind, he played it down for me. I could tell that he was definitely trying to hide the fact that he was petrified and he had no idea of what he was doing.

I guess we were in the same boat there.

There was no way in hell that Harry wasn't scared. It just couldn't be. Though he had spent all weekend with us and not once had he uttered that he was scared. It just hadn't really come up in conversation I guess. Harmony had been around about ninety percent of the time we spent together and so we hardly even really brought it up. We weren't making any big decisions just yet, we weren't sitting down to properly discuss it just yet. We had time, and right now I think we were both still trying to process it all, I don't think we needed to be having any serious discussions before we had even come to terms with the fact that we were having a baby together.

We both needed to work on telling our families before we done anything else. But we still had time, that's what I kept reminding myself. We had time and I just wanted to enjoy the time without being riddled with anxiety. Working helped a lot to ease my mind. After I had three shifts off and a whole weekend to myself, I threw myself back into work much to everybody's dismay and everyone's protests for me to stay at home and rest. Physically, I felt fine, there was nothing wrong with me.