moony and wood | r. lupin

war

"don't just stand there,"

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

July 1981

Order Safehouse: Rural East Sussex

Remus and Evie were exhausted. But at least they were together.

In the entire time the two had been part of the Order of the Phoenix, the couple had only been sent on a mission together one time– and it required Evie to be in her animagus form, so she didn't really count that.

The two were stationed in East Sussex along with Dedalus Diggle and Emmeline Vance, on guard for Death Eaters that were caught planning to attack another wizarding family in the area. With backup from Alastor Moody, they had managed to capture the seven Death Eaters and lock them up in Azkaban after a solid week away from home.

Evie and Remus sat in the sitting room of one of the houses the Order used as a base. They would be taking a portkey home later that evening– but until then, they made do with the dusty safehouse.

Evie caught herself staring at Remus– a habit she used to do in her school days. She couldn't help it then, and she couldn't help it now– but for an entirely different reason. Remembering Remus back then made him seem like a completely different person. Of course, he was the same Remus he always had been– warm-hearted and a worry-wart. But the circles under his eyes definitely had not been there before, neither had his face looked so sullen.

Evie looked at the loaf of bread in her hands. It was given to her from Emmeline– who was the definition of cool in Evie's eyes. She was a year or two older than her older brother Jace, and always wore an emerald-green shawl that brought out the light in her near-yellow eyes. She lived on her own ('I need no man! Independence is the one thing a woman must find on her own.'), and crocheted and baked the most delicious foods. This helped when she went out on missions, where the time for food was scarce.

Evie nudged Remus' foot with her own, holding out the loaf.

He looked up, shaking his head. "No, thank you, you can eat it."

"Remus," she said, quiet. "Take it. You need it."

He gave her a look before hesitantly taking it, biting down on it.

Alastor Moody then entered, muttering about how the Azkaban officials care too much about the details. "Why not just shut your traps and take the bloody bad guys to Azkaban already?" He grumbled. "Do you know where Diggle went? Bloody idiot, can't stay put for three seconds–" he rolled his eye again, the magic one staring Remus down.

"Last I saw him, he was–" Remus stopped abruptly as the wisp of blue entered the room through the wall.

Evie froze. It was a patronus. Not so long ago, Dumbledore had taught them how to make their patronuses speak, so that she could send messages without the risk of them being intercepted.

The wisp formed a goat– Aberforth's patronus. It pranced over to where Moody stood, frozen in place.

"Moody–" the goat spoke in Aberforth's voice. "We're getting out of here, we're too late," his voice was rushed, as if he only had a limited amount of time to speak. "They're gone, they're all gone,"

Evie's heart was pounding. Something had gone wrong, very wrong, by the sounds of it.

"The McKinnons, they're–" the goat shook its head. "They're dead. Marlene's gone."

Evie couldn't move– she couldn't even blink.

"I must go, they're coming! Don't just stand there, Dearborn, move!"

The goat dashed away, evaporating into bits of blue wisps.

"I've gotta–" Moody finally moved, searching for the door. "I've gotta go. The McKinnons–" he stopped himself, realizing that the two seated had just heard the exact message he did. Moody disappeared through the door, hobbling with his cane at full speed.

"Mar–" Evie gasped. She didn't know how to function; how to move, to talk, to cry. She sat unmoving in the armchair, stunned.

Remus shook his head, blinking away small tears. He wordlessly stood up, pulling Evie to her feet by the hand, and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair. It still smelled of strawberries, as it had all those years ago at Hogwarts.

That night, Evie and Remus were in their own home in Ottery St. Catchpole. The tiny flat they resided in wasn't much, but it was something they'd been able to call home for the last three years of the war. Remus and Evie had barely spoken since hearing Aberforth's message– they couldn't find the words.

Evie quickly retreated to the bedroom, but Remus stopped in the kitchen to get a kettle going. He rubbed his face in his hands. The whole war thing was exhausting. The last three years straight were go, go, go, and he barely had time to just live. On top of it all, he was still dealing with his lycanthropy– and therefore felt a little more useless to the war efforts. It was all very tiring, both on his body, which was covered in various cuts and bruises that had appeared Merlin-knows when, and on his mind, which couldn't stop replaying the excruciating things he'd faced.

He heard a thump come from the bedroom.

"Evie? You okay in there?" He walked over to the bedroom door, pushing it open tentatively.

Evie was curled up against the foot of the bed on the floor, crying and shaking.

Remus was quick to her side. "Evie–"

"Remus, I can't do this anymore–" she was breathing fast– way too fast– and her eyes were wild, full of tears. "It's– it's too much," she managed.

He knew quickly what she was talking about.

"Marlene–"

"Marlene's gone!" Evie cried. "She's gone, and she'll never be back!"

"Ev–"

"I don't know what to do," she rubbed her cheeks with her hands, hard. Her words were starting to slur. "She's never gonna get to say 'I love you' and she'll never hold her hand, and she'll–"

Remus shook his head in confusion, moving his hands to her arms. "Evelyn, what are you talking about?"

"DORCAS!" Evie bawled. "Dorcas loved her and she loved her and they're never gonna get to love each other!" Evie's chest rose in erratic pulses. "She wanted– she wanted to live in a cottage by the shore, and she wanted her family to love Dorcas as much as she did, but she knew it would never– they would never..."

Remus understood then. On top of her own grief, Evie was grieving for Dorcas.

"Evelyn," he held her face.

She was trying to pull away, sobs wracking through her body.

"I need you to look at me," Remus told her, voice firm, but full of care.

Tentatively, Evie's eyes met his.

"Listen to me," Remus nodded. "In–" he inhaled. "And out–" exhale.

Evie nodded, trying to match her frantic breaths to his slow pace.

"Evie, my darling," he cooed. "Your heart's too big, you know that?" He chuckled softly. The tears he didn't realize were welling in his eyes began falling slowly down his face. "It's– it's going to be okay. She's going to be okay."

Evie nodded, chest heaving as she slowed her air. Her eyes softened, noticing the tears on Remus' cheeks, and she moved a hand to wipe them away.

Remus grabbed her hand to press a kiss against it.

He wouldn't tell her, but Marlene's death set him into a worry– if Dorcas lost Marlene, then it was possible that he could lose Evie.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾