Wishpered Promises Of LoVE

Untold feelings

In the suite,
   "I have something for you…it's from her,"saying Zeeshan got up from his place and went inside the bedroom. But there was no movement in Shahriar. He seemed still…absolutely frozen. Only the salty water drops kept on cascading down his eyes. He didn't even know what to feel right now…how he should put his feelings into words, because no amount of vocable was enough to express his emotions. Even the entire vocabulary would seem too short in front of his situation.
    "Here take this,"Shahriar came back to his senses when Zeeshan shook him by his shoulders. Lifting up his head, Shahriar saw a very old folded page was forwarded towards him. "Zohi wrote it before she committed sui….*(long sigh)* decided to leave us,"Zeeshan cleared the confusion that Shahriar had in his eyes. A lone tear escaped both of their respective eyes…thinking about the person who used to be their life, the prime source of their happiness.
    Shahriar took ahold of the letter…his hands shaking…not knowing whether out of nervousness or fear. Nervousness for knowing the unknown yet again…and fear was for sinking deeper into the sea of guilt for not being able to save the only girl he loved or correction, still loves the most.
    "I wanted to give this to you when I found it 20 years ago itself. But that time you totally shut yourself off from everything and everyone…just like me. Maybe it seemed to be the best way for us to escape reality…which none of us could ever accomplish for real. And then when you got out of your cocoon, you claimed to hate Zoh. Though it was the worst lie you have ever said…and I knew it since the very beginning. Yet I didn't want to hand over the last souvenir my sister left when you were not in your right frame of mind. I was scared that either you would hurt yourself by reading this or your mortification towards Zohi would only increase. I didn't want you to take any action against that cruel Abu Tariq or those bastards without any proper preparation. Because I already saw the consequences of rebellion without any backbone…I already lost one of my sister's. I didn't want to lose you or Fay as well. You both are all I'm left with, man. And gradually I started changing myself and became the person I never wanted to be. Because I knew if I wanted to defeat that disgusting man then I needed to be more powerful than him…I would never be able to win against him by keeping my hands clean. Hence I also started playing this disgusting game…and very soon I'm going to quash him in his own game. I will make sure to bring him to his knees…he would be so destitute at that moment that he would beg for his death from me. But I, Zeeshan Toufiqur would not give that to him as well,"Zeeshan's eyes blazed fire with each of the words he spoke. Angry tears kept on falling down from his red orbs.
   "And that was the reason you distanced yourself from me and Fay, right?"Shahriar composed himself, now he really wanted answers to his questions…that Zeeshan never really gave him before. After Zohra's death he, Zeeshan, Fayza…all of them were broken into bits and pieces. Shahriar had distanced himself from everything as well. Till many months he was not even ready to believe that his Zoh was not with him anymore. He didn't want to accept the fact that she left him for…forever. But reality was reality after all. His believing it or not, was not going to change the truth after all!
    Slowly but surely, he also got used to the life that didn't conclude his beloved in that. But along with that came a lot of complaints, anger, pain, grievance against Zohra…for leaving him in the middle of nowhere like that. And day by day it only filled him with aggression…insatiable aggression. Although it could never get in the way of his colossal love for her, but he surely stopped expressing his feelings for her in front of others. And that led the cheerful Shahriar to change himself into more of an emotionless Shahriar Ibne Junaid Khan.
    And things took an adverse turn, when Zeeshan had stopped contacting him also…as if completely blocking Shahriar from his life. He stopped receiving Shahriar's calls, didn't reply to his messages, in fact things worsened as such where Zeeshan refused to meet Shahriar when he had visited Oman. From Fayza, Shahriar got to know how Zeeshan had a drastic change in him within that one year. The Zeeshan for whom his sister's used to be his whole world, stopped even taking care of his Fay. He detached himself from everything in such a way that Zeeshan never felt it necessary to look back at his glass doll…how she slowly transformed into an ironed human being!
    But was it really true? Was everything that was visible to the eyes were indeed the reality itself?
   "Don't stay quiet today, damn it. For Allah's sake, at least tell me, now! W…was it the reason you behaved that way with me and Fay?"Shahriar once again asked the same question…only this time it was more of a statement than a question. Till now the Zeeshan that was standing on his spot like a statue contemplating everything…whether he should actually open his mouth or not…finally nodded his head as slightly as an invisible action.
     And the next moment he was pressed harshly against the wall, with a raging Shahriar almost hovering over him…grabbing him by his collar,"How could you? How the heck did you dare to do it, Mr. Zeeshan Toufiqur?"Shahriar yelled at his best friend…finally unleashing the years' age clash altogether. "After losing Zohi, I…I knew how much of a big mistake I made by underestimating Abu Tariq. That was the time I realized that the man I used to consider to be inhumane was actually a monster in disguise. I realized my worth, my strength that moment when my sister was at the hospital bed writhing in pain…but no doctors were ready to start her treatment. I realized the power I had gained over the years and was considering myself to be able to compete with that vicious creature…was nothing in front of the power he had! I understood it in the hard way as to how my being a Prince or even a Sultan was not going to change the fact that Abu Tariq would still be at the peak of supremacy.
   And it took me to the door of Abu Tariq. The hands that were supposed to grab his collar, cut his throat, stab my sword against his chest were folded in front of him. I was on my knees, begging for mercy for my Baby sister's life…which that same man ruined in the worst way possible. That day I not only auctioned my self respect, my principles, my feelings in front of him…but also mortgaged myself in his custody for which I'm still paying the installments. At that moment, nothing seemed to make any difference to me. I didn't care about any of the consequences when I knew that it was never going to end well. But…what could I have probably done? I was a brother after all…a helpless brother…a failure brother who could not even protect his baby sister…she had so much faith in me. And all I did was to shatter all those mercilessly,"And for the first time in all these years, Zeeshan cried…cried his heart out. Shahriar didn't even see Zeeshan shedding tears at the final cremation of Zohra…nor he cried at the time she was taken away from him forever. In fact, in all these years, Zeeshan never went to visit Zohra's grave. It seemed as if his heart turned of stone…his soul left his body the moment his Zohi's soul did. Till date, he was nothing more than a living corpse. He never wanted anyone else to see his this side ever again. But today, all his trials became futile when each of the walls he had created around him came crashing down at the mention of that horrible night. It was indeed the worst nightmares of their lives which they could never forget even if they wanted to!