𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕(𝙰𝙲𝙾𝚃𝙰𝚁)

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔶-𝔱𝔴𝔬

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

     I hadn't yet confronted Azriel or Cassian about the conversation I had overheard, but I had been avoiding them.

     I'd spent most of the last week with the twins--who had found apartments for themselves--and Astraea or Mor. I spent time with Rhys when I could, but he was very busy.

     Now, I was eating breakfast alone with Astraea, a breakfast she had made for me. Just the two of us. Nobody understood me like she did. I felt so safe, so free from judgement around her.

      I'd spent the last week miserable, so upset that Azriel had said those things behind my back. I loved him so much, and he just saw me as some pathetic, damaged thing. What had changed? What made him lose the feelings he had so obviously had for me?

"Am I as pretty as I used to be?" I blurted.

     Astraea froze from across the table, staring at me with raised brows. She set her fork down, swallowing her mouthful of eggs.

"What?" was all she said.

"Am I still pretty?" I asked.

"Of course you are," she insisted, rolling her blue eyes as she went to scoop more eggs onto her fork.

"I've been back for a while and Azriel hasn't pursued me," I explained. "He wrote me letters that hinted at romance. He came to visit twice when he was spying in Autumn, and he kissed me twice. Now, he's acting like none of that happened."

"Eve," Astraea said, raising a brow. "Ever since you left, he has wallowed and desperately pined for you. It's obvious to everyone. He loves you, but he's giving you space."

"I don't want space. I want him," I objected.

"You just got out of a very long and abusive marriage," she reminded me. "You had two children with this male. It's fair for Azriel to assume you need time to recover."

"What if he is what I need to recover?" I asked, picking at the food on my plate that I had yet to eat.

"Then tell him," she said softly.

"What if he doesn't want me anymore?" I dared to utter, the fear of that reality gnawing at me.

"I don't think that's possible," she assured.

"I heard the things he said," I admitted, unable to meet her eyes. "I heard him complaining about what happened with Rhys and me."

     Astraea sighed at my confession, getting out of her chair. She breezed to my side, her hand resting on my shoulder.

"The boys are idiots who expected you to be the same person you were when you were 17," she said to me. "They aren't disappointed, and they don't love you any less. They're just getting used to the change."

"I'm still getting used to the change, too," I said quietly. "I feel weak and useless."

"Well, I have some good news, then," she smiled, sitting in the chair beside me. "They boys are ready to train you and the twins. The twins started their training with Rhys this morning, and you can start with Az this afternoon."

"Why can't I just train with Rhys and the twins?" I grumbled.

"Because the twins have powers they need trained," she explained. "And Rhys is better suited for that than Cass and Az."

"Well, can Cassian train me, then?"

"He doesn't get back from Windhaven until just before dinner," she said. "But if you don't want to--"