Articles for YOU

Article 2- Refugee at HOME

'Refugee at HOME' a title not to be cherished but the one to be demolished from our society and family.

We the VICTIMS, Widows, Divorcees, Single Mothers, the Warriors of such never ending battles...

Why ???
Being divorcees or Widows fade our chrome,
Baptizing us Refugee at home!"

In the ebb and flow of life, sometimes the strongest among us find themselves seeking refuge where they should feel most at ease - in the embrace of their own family, their own home. Our return can be bittersweet, as they grapple with societal stigmas and familial dynamics that often fail to offer the solace they seek.

In the realm where once she was a princess, she now finds herself a refugee in her own palace. Isn't this a profound injustice to the very essence of human emotions and aspirations? Particularly in the societal norms of the Indian subcontinent, the paramount concern is often the marriage of daughters. Post this event, her significance within the family seems to diminish, casting her as an outsider. In cases where she must seek security, the welcome is often lukewarm at best. Instead of the warm embrace she deserves, she is met with a reminder, ever persistent, that her stay must be brief. How have we, as humans, become so self-absorbed that we fail to recognize the enduring value of relationships?

Take the case of Maya, a woman whose marriage ended in divorce after years of emotional turmoil. Seeking comfort and support, she returned to her childhood home, hoping to find sanctuary. Yet, instead of the warm embrace she anticipated, she encountered an unexpected chill. Her parents, while well-meaning, struggled to navigate the complexities of her newfound independence and the scars of her past. In their desire to protect her, they inadvertently made her feel like an outsider in the very place she once called home.

Then there's Rehaana, a widow whose husband passed away suddenly, leaving her to trace the treacherous waters of grief while shouldering the responsibility of raising their young children. Returning to her parents' house was meant to provide a sense of stability, but instead, she found herself caught in a web of well-intentioned but suffocating advice. The walls of her childhood room felt like they were closing in on her, as she grappled with her own grief and the weight of others' expectations.

These are just few examples of the many women who find themselves in this poignant situation. The struggles they face are not merely emotional, but often financial and practical as well. Living together with parents and siblings after being on their own for a while can be tricky. They need to find a way to be independent while still following the rules of the house. Support them to cultivate their skills and being self-sufficient.

When we nurture and empower our daughters to develop their skills and confidence, we not only invest in their personal growth and well-being but also pave the way for economic prosperity within our own households. These empowered young women emerge as catalysts for positive change, driving progress and contributing to the financial stability of their families. By recognizing and fostering their potential, we unlock a reservoir of talent that holds the key to a brighter future for all. It's a simple yet powerful shift in perspective that can have a profound impact on the trajectory of our families and communities.

Well, Children add another layer of complexity to this already intricate tapestry. For many women in this situation, become the bridge between generations, translating the needs and desires of their children to their parents, and vice versa. They become the steady force, the unwavering advocate, as they strive to create a sense of stability in a world that feels anything but stable.

I can't help but reflect on my own journey as I delve into this title 'Refugee at HOME'. After the separation and divorce from my ex-husband, I found myself in a situation all too familiar to the women I write about. From the very first day, I took it upon myself to be financially independent, believing in the power of self-reliance. However, despite my efforts, my worth always seemed to register as zero in the eyes of those closest to me. I continued to shine, only to be made to feel as though I was slowly rusting away. My child, my greatest treasure, was sometimes treated as if he was an orphan. Still, we bore every pain with smiles. This is because the love I hold for my family is unconditional. It's the very reason I've never given up, and why I continue to fight this battle that no one asked for. I yearn for them to see us through the same lens of love that I hold for them. This unwavering love is what keeps me going, determined to bridge the gap between understanding and acceptance, hoping that one day, they will truly see us for who we are.

In the midst of these trials, there was an incident that shook me to the core. My son and I were recently subjected to a horrifying act of betrayal, as our own sister-in-law attempted to poison us. It was my brother's swift action that saved our lives in the nick of time. To this day, there have been no apologies, no remorse shown from any quarter. It's a chilling reminder of the depths of human malice. We hold no regret for having been associated with such a disturbing act, but we are now acutely aware and taking every precaution necessary to shield ourselves from such toxic influences. This harrowing experience serves as a stark reminder of the importance of protecting our own well-being and the well-being of those we hold dear.

I was lucky to escape a terrible situation, but it breaks my heart to think about so many other women facing even worse challenges. Some of them are hurt very badly, and some are even forced into very sad situations and end their lives. Yet, amidst the challenges, there is a resilience that shines through. Women like Me, Maya and Rehaana, find strength in the love we have for our children and in the desire to create a sense of 'home' once more. We learn to set boundaries, to communicate our needs, and to assert our independence in a way that fosters understanding and harmony.

To both our society and our families, let us liberate ourselves from the confines of our so-called orthodox and narrow-minded thinking. Together, we can construct a society founded on expansive perspectives, where we extend a helping hand to our own. Instead of labeling them as victims, let us recognize them as integral parts of our shared human experience, bound by the ties of family and humanity.

We need to remember the saying "live and let live". Our community should teach us all to be kind and helpful, especially to single moms. They go through really tough times, but they are also very strong. Instead of making their lives harder, let's be there for them, giving them love, understanding, and lots of support. Together, we can help them stand tall, overcome tough times, and find happiness again.

It is important for society and family to recognize and support these women in their journey. Rather than viewing them as 'refugees' in their own homes, we should celebrate their courage and tenacity. They are not victims, but survivors, navigating through the complexities of life with grace and determination.

In conclusion, 'Refugee at HOME' is not just an article; it is an appeal from us to all. It is a reminder that home is not merely a physical space, but a sanctuary of love, understanding, and acceptance. We must eliminate the toxicity from our society and family dynamics. Believe in being human and celebrate humanity. It is a call to action for families to open their arms wider, to listen more intently, and to embrace change with an open heart.

Let us dismantle the title 'Refugee at HOME' and replace it with 'Champion of Resilience', for every individual deserves a space of acceptance and belonging in our society and within our families.

"Embrace, empower, and uplift one another, for in unity lies the strength to redefine our narratives".

(Kindly find my poem on 'Refugee at HOME' in my book named 'Chirping Beads: Festoon Of Poems' on Wattpad)