FRIENDLY FIRE: A 9-1-1 fanfiction

Party Fifty: White Roses

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EMMA

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"This feels weird," Hollis blurted out as we stood side by side, staring at the white marble statue.

"Yep," I agreed promptly, adjusting the bouquet of white roses in my arm, "very weird."

We were in New York. 

I had promised myself as a kid that I would never come back, but back then, it had never occurred to me that I would ever feel comfortable and safe enough to come back. That had changed now. Things were different now.

"Do we... say something?" Hollis mumbled, her face a picture of confusion and awkwardness.

"This may surprise you, but I've never been here before so I don't know the etiquette any better than you do," I quipped back, raising my free hand to smooth out my black dress.

"My bad, I thought you frequented cemeteries for fun on the weekends," she joked weakly before sighing heavily. "God, this is fucking awful."

I nodded slowly, "Yep."

The statue in front of us had twenty seven names on it. Twenty seven names of people who all died the same night. Henry Shroud and Mikayla Carter's names were also on that plaque of names.

I had never had the courage to visit them before. When they had first died, I'd been so wrapped up in fighting for my life and Luca leaving that I hadn't found the time. Then, when Paul got sick, it all became about keeping him alive so I couldn't just leave him alone. After Paul died, Harry had always told me I didn't deserve to visit them.

Now, there was nothing stopping me from visiting them but the guilt of it taking me four years to find time was somehow worse than not visiting them.

"Alright," Hollis huffed, taking a step forwards and placing down her bouquet; hers was for Mikayla. There were white roses, mixed with sunflowers and buttercups in it. Mikayla always loved the colour yellow; in fact, she kind of was the colour yellow. Always bright, always smiling. She was the human form of the sun. "I hope you're enjoying your first class accommodation, I hear heaven is top of the range and the place to be."

I snorted unintentionally, a smile crossing my face, "Really?"

"I don't know!" Hollis groaned, turning to look at me, a grin raising her lips, "I don't know how to talk to someone who ain't got much to say back."

"Oh my..." I trailed off, running my hand down my face, "okay, Holly. Okay."

"Well, you ain't sayin' anything either!" She burst out in frustration, "Come on, you ain't dead yet, move that pretty mouth of yours!"

"Ah, my best friend," I rolled my eyes, "the master of seduction and subtlety."

"Fuck you," Hollis threw me her middle finger before using it to point at the statue, "talk, they all listenin'."

"So, no pressure," I muttered under my breath, taking a step closer as well and crouching to lower my own bouquet.

My bouquet was for Henry. Henry, who I'd spent the last few years seeing in my nightmares. Henry, who I'd spent every day for four years thinking about; thinking about if he betrayed his unit or not. Thinking about who he was and if I really ever knew him at all.