At The Edge Of The World | YiZhan ✓

Part 14

It was bright. Yet the comfort the bed beneath was giving was worth the position he was in, not feeling the need to move his body or even turn his face to the other side. 

So a minute passed, then another. Ten seconds into the third minute as he suddenly realised that this could not have been his bed at all. The sun would rise from his kitchen and not the bedroom. And besides, this bed was too comfortable for him to have bought it. He was just never good with making decisions about buying furniture. 

Without letting more time pass, he quickly opened his eyes to inspect the place he was at. But before the inspection could even start, he suddenly felt the acids in his stomach raise, causing him to rush to the bathroom next room. He couldn't remember how much he had drunk last night, but the vomit just wouldn't stop coming out. At some point his throat began to hurt so badly that he ended up swallowing the rest in his mouth and hopped in the shower. 

Once he was out he made his way back to the bedroom and took some clothes out of the wardrobe before heading downstairs to the living room. He had already guessed where he was at yet had decided to not think about it until after the shower. Because he knew that only when drunk to death would he touch that key by his nightstand and make his way over to Zhan's house. The place seemed the same as before, aside from the broken lamp which was there no more. It was replaced by a cheap lightbulb you'd find at convenience stores. Yibo wanted to smile at the sight yet ended up sighing instead. 

With the burning sensation still in his throat, he made his way to the fridge and found some cola to ease the pain. As the sweet taste rolled around his tongue and slid down his throat, he groaned in relief. It was funny to him that he could not bring himself to remember the events of last night, nor find a single clue about them. It was left a mystery in his mind, yet amusing to know that even in that mindless state, he'd somehow still end up where Zhan was. 

His muscle memory must've worked just fine, Yibo thought as he took a seat on the couch. Across from him stood a familiar brand of cigarettes, half opened as some peaked out of the box. The image of Zhan holding one between his fingers as he'd light it with ease suddenly came to mind, urging him to grab the box and pull one out for himself. He took the lighter on the coffee table as well, now slowly flicking the sparkwheel and watching as the fire ignited on top. He placed the cigarette between his lips and lit the tip kindly before leaning himself back to inhale it  in. 

Yibo had never been a smoker. In fact, the first time he had tried to smoke was when he was back at the brothel, inhaling the nicotine to amuse one of his clients. He had ended up coughing in pain and had never put it between his lips again. Yet when he had smoked with Zhan, the taste had somehow ended up being pleasant. 

He sighed by puffing out the smoke. In any case, he had ended up being a smoker one way or another. The addiction was quick to kick in as he felt himself relax. Yet that sensation didn't last long upon his past memory reminding him of yesterday. The fact that Jun had done a background check on him was the least shocking. And the most was him having let him go just like that. It was obvious that Yibo was nothing but a lost species of aerobic bacteria he did not require to know the existence of. 

Then again even he himself didn't know what he had tried to accomplish by going there just like that. So vulnerable and lost. Mingyu was right. The guilt he had felt for letting Zhan take the weight over his shoulders was nothing but childishly acted out, not even coming close to the act of courage. 

Did he even feel guilty? No, it wasn't that. He just felt like shit that Zhan hadn't cared to tell him about it. Even if Yibo couldn't do much, he hated it to be protected by someone else no matter the reason. He was not weak. He was careless, a bit clumsy and let his anger act out before his rationality, but he was not pathetic.