Extraordinary

Chapter 70: Anxiousness

"You did it?" Chloe asked.

"Yes," I answered, a smile still on my face as I sat in the parking lot of our complex.

"Like...you're actually going to be on the show?"

"Yes," I confirmed. There's a brief bit of silence before I hear her screaming with joy, making me laugh.

"Oh my God Lola! You're going to be famous!" She squeals. I laugh again.

"I don't know about that, but it's definitely exciting,"

I remember saying that exact statement just a few months ago when that first conversation happened. Of course I called Pat and my mum and I got all the same reactions of excitement. However, that feeling for me melted into nerves that are building up the closer I near the date of the audition.

Louis, along with the rest of his bandmates, told me that it was totally natural to feel nervous before this. Although people seem excited when they get on stage, they still have butterflies in their stomachs when they start to sing. I took their advice and tried remembering it every day, but soon I couldn't focus on any task on hand because this live audition was lingering in the back of my mind and soon crawling up to the front.

With all this stress building up, I started running more. A lot more. I would run two times a day (Two miles in the morning, two at night) just to try to clear my head. Plus, I wanted to look and be fit in time for the auditions.

But running didn't help everything. After about a month of this, the hate came back. Somehow it was revealed that I would be on the X Factor show and the directioners were anything but happy. They were furious and upset, thinking that I was stealing Louis' spotlight and trying too much to be like him. Also, I'm getting real sick of those girls who think Larry Stylinson will ever be a thing. It's not just that; they're just plain rude. I honestly don't have anything against the fans, because they really do support the boys as much as they can. But the bullying and the hate on me is getting sickening and making me even more nervous for this than I should be.

I couldn't tell Louis about it either. I didn't want him to be upset with me or his fans about some silly little hate. I also didn't want to admit that some people who have the nerve and the time to write that sort of shit about me is really starting to lower my self-esteem. They were right though. Sometimes, I do believe I didn't look like a model and sometimes I don't deserve Louis and maybe he's just dating me to pity me for an accident that happened almost two years ago.

I'm probably getting ahead of myself here. I know those are the worst thoughts to have, especially at this time, but I couldn't help but think about it from time to time.

Before I knew it, auditions were the next day and I was already starting to shake like crazy. That familiar feeling was back in the pit of my stomach and I was constantly wiping my hands on my pants to get rid of the sweat that was constantly forming. Louis was trying his best to get my mind off of it by taking me out for lunch and then some sort of spy movie. It was a wonderful gesture; but I still kept thinking about the main event ahead.

We practiced my song again, at least five times a day a couple days after I found out I would be on the show and worked on certain sections to make sure it was in tune and smooth enough for the judges to like it. This was the real deal; doing it in front of at least 20,000 people and of course the four celebrity judges, one of which was still Simon Cowell. Thinking about this wasn't putting my mind any more at ease than it should be.

Later in the night, Louis and I resorted to cuddling on his bed with soft piano music playing in the room from his phone. Luckily, I brought everything I needed for the next day over to his place so I could easily get ready here, then pick up Chloe and my mum on the way. Pat was already getting ready for his next few matches that take place around the country, so I let him be and he wished me luck over the phone. I appreciated him doing that, but I wish he could've come with too. Then again, I suppose three people are enough to bring with for this sort of thing.