Extraordinary

Chapter 73: Boot camp Troubles

But I did let it affect me. I let it all affect me in the worst ways possible. Nothing was getting better as the show gradually went on. We were coming up on the rehearsal and filming of Bootcamp. By that point, all I wanted to do was bury myself under the covers and forget about everything going on with it.

I know I didn't really have a choice, since Chloe literally signed me up for it. Sure, I had a long-lasting dream about it. Sure, I may be able to sing. But perhaps the excitement of it all made it ten times more pressuring and upsetting than it really is. I've shed tears over this, had a panic attack, and am close to practically starving myself in order to keep up with not only the show and its expectations, but with the competition as well.

This wasn't what I wanted to do with my life anymore.

I talked to my mum about this and she listened very carefully and intently. She told me she that she already knew that I wasn't ready for it nor that it was something that I wanted to pursue, and I didn't even argue with her on it. We drank hot coffee and watched some bland reality show while talking, trying to keep a calm atmosphere around us. What made me so upset about all of this was the fact that I took a chance that I shouldn't have taken, and all I wanted to do was take out all this anger out on Chloe who should've known that this wasn't something I wanted to do.

My persistent running was still going on and I gradually cut down on my meals. I was making myself care about this show and at least get fairly far to make myself and everyone else proud. Even though I was in one of my most stressed and upset moods, I had to make sure I was doing my best and keeping not only my performance well with how I'm singing, but how my appearance is too.

However, that was not how it worked on the show. There were some positive changes made to my voice thanks to Michelle, but my appearance was not keeping up. I often found the other girls in my group eyeing me during rehearsal, knowing that I'm already famous enough and questioning why I'm even on this show in the first place. I couldn't help but compare myself to them while we all practiced in our group. Watch how nice they look in with messy buns and sweat pants. Some would wear only yoga pants and sport bras just to keep themselves cool, and I couldn't help but admire how flat their stomachs were and how they were keeping it like that. One of those were Lydia, who often gave me the dirtiest looks and found the nerve to talk to me one day after rehearsal.

"You're Louis' girlfriend," She smirked at me, sweat glistening on her face and her fingers twirling around in her high ponytail.

"Yes, I am," I stated.

"Why are you here?" She asked snottily. "You're famous enough already, why don't you just go home?"

If only she knew how much I've been asking myself that question.

"Look, it's clear that you don't like me," I stated, ignoring her question. "We're both here for the same reason, right? We want to win. We want to destroy each other. Or perhaps you want Louis to yourself?" I questioned her at the end. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh please, that's what you think of all their fans. Just petty little girls who want to steal your boy. Honestly, haven't you heard he's losing interest in you? He only cared about you because he felt bad about hurting you during that football match. You think he's going to stay with you whether you win this show or not?"

"Yes, I do," I gritted my teeth, fighting the urge to punch her pretty little face. "He loves me. Always had, and always will," Lydia scoffed.

"Keep believing that then," She smiled at me, taking one last look at me. "Louis' not going to stay with someone so out of shape for much longer,"