Extraordinary

Chapter 75: Let me Help

The long, treacherous steps up to my flat have never felt so tedious before. Not even when the hunger first set in, the steps right at this moment felt like climbing up a mountain. They never seemed to end either. And as I made the climb up them, all I could repeat in my head was how much I ultimately failed, and how I just broke up with Louis Tomlinson, who I thought was my soulmate but was only someone who I just couldn't connect nor deal with anymore.

I was better at being the independent girl anyways.

What I expected when I got to my door was to start binging away on any of the food left in my flat and then bury myself under the covers of my bed for at least two days. Just to get away from everything for a temporary time, and then maybe I'd feel well enough to go out for a run or talk to Chloe or something. I expected it to go just like that. Everything would gradually get better with Louis out of my life, and I'd be able to move on and towards a more ideal career. Soon, hopefully, life would be splendid.

However, what I didn't expect was to see Pat standing outside my flat's door just about to start knocking.

It was when I first clicked the door open to my hallway, still struggling to keep myself standing up straight when I noticed his familiar figure. At first, my confused mind twisted it into thinking it was Louis, probably here to try and talk and work things out, but I knew Pat's figure like the back of my hand.

"Pat?" I called out weakly when I slowly started walking towards him. He immediately turned to look at me and smiled. He hadn't changed a bit. A bit taller and a bit more buff, but he was still my Pat, clad in a team sweatshirt and sweatpants. The Pat I had known since forever was standing right in front of me and I couldn't have been happier to see him.

"Hey," He greeted me as I moved close enough to stand in front of him and tried to stand as straight as I could. "I uh, I had a bit of a break and thought I better come in and say hi," At first, I smiled at him, glad that he was thoughtful enough to come by to my place instead of sleeping, which is probably what he's dying to do by now. But after a few seconds, my smile began to falter, and he immediately took notice.

"Hey, what's wrong? Don't you want me here?" He asked concerned. I started shaking my head and the waterworks resumed. Pat took me into his arms right away and held me close.

"I missed you so much," I sobbed against his chest, smelling a faint twinge of cologne on him and feeling heat radiate off of his fleece jacket.

"Aw Lola, I missed you too," He softly rubbed my back as he pulled me closer. "But is that really what you're so upset about?" I lift my head up to look at him through my tear stained eyes. He had no idea about any of this and I didn't know if I could just spill it all to him right here, right now.

"Chloe talked to me a little before you got here," He said softly. "She said she's worried about you, and I am too. So can you tell me what's going on?" I shook my head as he used the pads of his thumbs to wipe my tears away.

"Lola, please. You can tell me anything and you know that. It'll make you feel a bit better if you talk about it,"

"I don't think it will this time," I sniffle, trying to pull myself together. Pat sighs.

"You sure about that?" He urges me on. I finally give in and shake my head again.

"Come inside for a bit then, I'll tell you everything," I admit defeat, yet again.

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In a matter of time, I spilled everything out to Pat over a cup of coffee and yet another sitcom playing on the telly. Everything from the starvation, the hate, everything I felt with Louis, and everything that felt like crashing down around me in one twisted, horrible mess that I couldn't seem to clean up.

"I knew you felt a bit skinnier when I hugged you," Pat muttered, taking another sip. I glared at him.

"Please tell me you ate something on the way back from the show, Louis must've made you right?" I shook my head.

"No, he didn't really seem to care nor did I want him to. I only told him to bring me home and just take myself out of his life," I twisted the strings on my sweatpants that I had just changed into and took another sip of coffee. It did feel good to ingest something with some sort of flavor.

"I haven't eaten for awhile," I muttered under my breath, afraid to admit it.

"Yeah, and it definitely shows," Pat points out.

"You're not helping," I snap at him. He holds his hands up in mock surrender.

"Hey, if I starved myself, you would've said the same thing. Am I wrong?" I looked down at the strings of my sweatpants again and shook my head.

"Now," He starts, setting his cup down on a nearby side table. "What can I make for you?" I finish up my last bit of coffee and hold out the mug to him.

"More coffee would be great," I suggest.

"Lola, you know what I meant," I look back down at my lap.

"Please Lola, let me help you. I'm not just gonna leave here and let you continue to starve yourself," He stated.

"I think I'd rather you do," I said. "I'm not even hungry,"

"That's because you've let yourself go far enough without food to feel like that," He sighs, exasperated at his attempt to help me. "Haven't you looked at yourself lately? You're are not only extremely thin, but your skin looks really pale and dry,"

"Gee thanks, looks like I've achieved the extremely thin look then," I say, completely annoyed with him now. He widens his eyes at my comment.

"For what? For One Direction's fans? For your friends that don't care about your weight? For Louis who should've noticed this was happening in the first place? Don't you get how lucky you are that you didn't end up in the hospital because of this?"

"Alright I get it already!" I exclaim. "I'm a complete mess. I did try to lose all of this weight just to feel better about myself. I questioned why Louis would even date me in the first place and it turns out you were right all along!" The last words that passed through my lips were a mistake. Pat stays silent at this.

"I knew he gave me that weird feeling, I should've gone with it and ran with it while I could. I thought that was what love felt like but, it wasn't. You're right, he didn't even notice me starving myself and would've done something about it before any of that shit at the stadium happened. I shouldn't have gone through all that shit with him. Happy?" Pat pursed his lips at me and sighed again.

"I'm not happy unless you are," He states. "I'm sorry you have to feel like this and feel awful enough to starve yourself. But this is not the Lola I know and love. This is someone completely different," His words are enough to bring the tears back in my eyes. I quickly wipe them away.

"So...can you please let me help you? I promise you'll feel a tad better if you eat something," I give him a hesitant look.

"Really, it will," He urges me on. I finally give in to him and nod, letting him run off to my small kitchen with me still in his view.

This was it. I let Pat in to help because he was the only person who could help me right now. Everyone who was urging me to do the X Factor, claiming how proud they were of me for going so far and doing so well, meant nothing in this moment. Pat only learned about this less than five minutes ago. He didn't judge me-despite the stupidity for starving myself-nor make any snide comments about how ridiculous I was for stressing throughout something that is apparently more fun than nerve-wracking for other people. He didn't offer to call and take me off the show nor try to see what was so wrong between Louis and I nor take a nap to just forget it all.

He only wanted me to eat. Nothing else, just get some food into my system at an attempt to make me feel better.

And you know what? I was completely okay with that.

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