Ruined Lives And Burning Hatred

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Entry 144:

Jeanne D'Arc POV:

As I sit near the fire with the demi servant, I ponder my current circumstances as only a few days ago, I was burned away being called a heretic by those I fought for and against, and now a version of me is proving them right

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As I sit near the fire with the demi servant, I ponder my current circumstances as only a few days ago, I was burned away being called a heretic by those I fought for and against, and now a version of me is proving them right.

It was rather demoralizing as I cannot fathom how or why this other me appeared and was so angry and vengeful, but that makes no sense as when I died, I died knowing that was a part of the plan.

I accepted my end, yet I found that another me refused to, and she is also a ruler and can sense our location possibly, but yet I feel okay. I feel at peace, and I think I know why, as through the contract, I can sense a small fraction of what Lord Ozias is true.

When he asked for a contract, I accepted it as if a voice was telling me it would be my greatest choice, and I was right as when the contract was made, I was showered in power, not just normal mana but mana lined with divinity and holy power.

So my current theory is that Lord Ozias is an Angel or maybe an Archangel sent by god to aid humanity, but he may not wish to reveal this out of a desire to not have us rely on him as angels are guides to humanity and defenders in only the worst of conflicts.

Yet through the contract, I can feel how much power he holds back as I could feel he would shatter this entire world with one strike. Is that the power of an archangel? I truly wish to believe he is what I think he is, and maybe it is selfish to want to know that what you believe in is true.

"You seem to be in deep thought, Jeanne. Are you alright?" Mash asks as I smile and say, "Yes, I am fine as well. My abilities have gone down a rank through my contract. My overall stats have actually risen."

Mash smiles at this as she says, "It is truly surprising how my delusional Master is able to fall asleep so quickly in the wilderness, but with Ozias Senpai's inventions, it is no surprise."

I chuckle as I have seen the inside of those houses, and maybe I should ask for one as while servants don't sleep, it's a nice thought.

We sit in comfortable silence as Mash then asks, "I don't mean to pry, but I feel like you are confused, and with the coming battles, one should go in having no issues."

I then respond, "Mostly how I was materialized in this era as I literally died a couple of days ago, and since I have no history in the Throne of Heroes yet, I feel new, so to speak." Mash then asks, "Like a rookie?" I nod as Mash simply says, "It's all right to feel that way as I feel similar being a newly minted demi-servant, and I feel the same as many of these battles feel just like my first one."

I also nod as I continue, "It's mostly that I feel like a burden as I lack all of my skills other than my Noble Phantasm, and it feels like going into battle all over again, yet these two believe in me. It's the expectation that gives me pause."

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