Element [The Darkling]

Chapter Forty

After heading back to the stronghold via the Hummingbird, I made my way to the highest tower and leaned my forearms against the wall, staring out at the open sky, feeling the cool breeze on my hair.

There were various noises down below as people went about their lives, cleaning up the aftermath of what would no doubt be the most historical moment Ravka had ever known.

But up there, there was silence.

Peace.

Time to mull over Nikolai's offer.

I wanted it. I wanted it so badly, but I didn't know if Alina would be alright with me leaving.

We had an eternity together, but look at what had happened while we were separated?

Shadow monsters took half of Adrik's arm, ripped apart the rest of the royal family, destroyed the Spinning Wheel- all because that idiot Vasily invited several unsavory gambling friends to Alina and Nikolai's proposal dinner.

Baghra died, and the stronghold came under attack.

Mal almost died.

Mal did die.

"What are you doing all the way up here?" I turned around to see Alina standing behind me, her hands clasped behind her back, a small smile on her face. "I thought I was the one who liked to perch." She said with mild amusement. I grinned.

"Perhaps that's another thing we share." I joked wryly, and she laughed, walking over to me. She stood beside me, staring at the sky.

"Nikolai told you about his offer, then?" Alina asked, and I nodded. "What do you think?" She asked, observing me.

"What do you think?" I shot back curiously, meeting her dark eyes.

"You deserve a life of your own. I know you want it." Alina said, and I nodded, sighing softly.

"I do want it." I admitted quietly.

Alina turned to face me, taking my hands in hers and pulling me to do the same. Her eyes were wide and her sincere. "I think we've both proven that we don't need to be by each other's side all the time. We're strong enough on our own. Besides, I've never seen you alive like on that ship. And you and Tolya-" A

"Oh, Saints. Don't get me started." I cut her off, groaning with embarrassment.

"You deserve someone like him." Alina said firmly. "And I think the man Kirigan used to be, the one you loved, would agree." She added gently, and I looked at her in surprise. She sent me a look of understanding.

Some of my shame melted away.

She understood why I loved that part of him.

And she didn't hate me for it.

"We have an eternity together, Astrid. Go find yourself." Alina implored, and I contemplated the situation in my head for a moment, before tears welled up in my eyes.