Just My Luck {bungo stray dogs x oc}

Chapter 14

"A lady" Ranpo said, taking off his hat and bowing.

An officer informed us that she had been found floating in the river that morning.

"She has three bullet holes to the chest," said Minoura solemnly "And as far as anyone at the office knows she wasn't in a relationship either"

"Was she an officer?" I asked, looking her up and down multiple times, trying not to miss any details. "No" I was answered by Minoura "She was a researcher"

'Interesting' I thought to myself 'A researcher being able to afford an expensive designer watch like that?'

"Any suspects?" I interrogated the detective. He shot me a death glare. "No" he begrudgingly replied, crouching down over the dead body. "So you have no leads" I deadpanned. Ranpo smirked at him, expecting him to finally admit that he needed help. But Mr. Minoura did quite the opposite.

"Which is why we can't have some amateur private detective, his two weird eyed apprentices and a cat take over this case" he snarled, rather rudely if you asked me.

"Watch it" I grumbled at him, crossing my arms. This guy was really starting to get on my nerves.

"Sir!" someone yelled from behind us. I looked back for the first time and realised they were using nets to see if they caught anything, or anyone, else was in the river. "We've caught something in the net.

The air tensed when they guy looked down and his face paled "It's a body" he whispered, barely audible. We ran towards the edge of the river to see the possible second victim of the murder.

As they slowly pulled it out, I saw the one guy I didn't want to see.

"Dazai" I rolled my eyes at the suicidal maniac. He was dripping wet and disgusting from the dirty river.

Atsushi ran to him and gave him one of his signature 'What the actual fuck' looks. "Hey, Atsushi-kun!" The brunette said cheerfully, as if he wasn't hanging upside down in a fishing net used to recuperate evidence from a murder. "What a coincidence seeing you here!"

"Another drowning attempt?" Atsushi sweat dropped at the man, who just chuckled.

"Did our conversation earlier really want to make you kill yourself?" I snarked at him, still grumpy from our little talk earlier. "Why so grumpy, Neko-chan?" he fake pouted, knowing full well why I was mad at him. I crossed my arms and turned away from him, Lucky hissing at him.

"What are you all doing here?" he asked the three of us. "We're investigating a murder" Atsushi explained.

Fast-forward to a few minutes later, and Dazai was leaning over the victim's dead body and reciting poetry as if her were a theatre kid in English class reading Shakespeare.

"Who would take this beautiful woman's life!?" He yelled, waving his arms dramatically. "She had so much to live for, she could've committed a double suicide with me! But someone ended her life before we had the chance"

"Who the hell is he?" Minoura asked Atsushi, Ranpo and I, pointing at the crazy brunette. "A walking toilet paper roll" I replied, not answering his question at all.

"He's a colleague from the agency" Ranpo piped up helpfully. "He's just like that"

"Rest in peace, milady" Dazai practically yelled "For a great detective shall avenge you! Right Ranpo-san?" He turned eagerly to Ranpo, his eyes full of hope, like a puppy dog.

"I would love to but I can't get down to the job" Ranpo grumbled, side-eying Minoura, who side-eyed him back. Side-eye battle. Nice.

"What!?" Dazai shrieked, bursting my eardrums. "Why not!?"

"Ask this guy over here" I answered for Ranpo, pointing at Minoura who took this as his chance to shine. "We don't need any detectives to solve this case" he said firmly "Any one of my subordinates is far superior than the four of you put together!"

Uh oh. He shouldn't have said that. I took out my phone and opened the timer app because I knew what was coming.

"Ok then!" said Ranpo, scanning for his victim. "You then!" He settled on an officer close by "What's your name?"

"M-my name is Sergeant Sugimoto!" He yelled at us for no reason, saluting "The victim, Miss Yamagiwa was my senior!" But as he told us his name a shiny object on his wrist caught my eye. 'Oh?' I thought to myself 'Is that a matching watch I see?'

"Alright Sugimoto-kun!" Ranpo said excitedly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Solve this case in sixty seconds. Do you have the timer ready, Kori-chan?"

"Yup" I chimed.

"Ok, then begin!" I pressed play on the timer as Sugimoto just stood there, dumbfounded at what was happening. There was a moment of silence before he finally understood. 

"Wait what!? Umm, let me think. Hmm. Ok, um, sixty seconds I'd a bit of an overkill isn't it?" He pleaded for more time, but I just said in a sing-songy voice "Fifty second left!"

"Aghhh" he replied "Okay, um, right. Yamagiwa-senpai was pursuing a political corruption case and also investigating the Port Mafia. I believe the murder's M.O. is similar to the Mafia of exacting retribution. Maybe she was killed by the Mafia members she was investigating-"

"Incorrect" "Wrong" Dazai and I said at the exact same time.

"The Port Mafia's retaliatory methods are as highly specific as a government issued ID" began Dazai.

"First the traitor is forced to bite the curb" I began, shuddering at the thought of it. "Then they kick the back of their head, shattering their jaw. As the victim suffers in agony, they flip them over-"

"And shoot them three times in the chest" Dazai finished for me, interrupting me. "This method is similar, but not the same" he concluded.

"That means-" I began before I was interrupted AGAIN by Minoura-san. "An attempted cover up?" He asked, to which I nodded my head.

"Shooting twice extra rounds at a body just for that? That's horrible" commented Sugimoto. I almost corrected him. The Port Mafia didn't fire two extra rounds after the person had died. They fired all three at once. Any person would assume that.

Beep, beep. Beep, beep.

"Time's up" I announced, patting Sugimoto-san on the back "Hard luck dude, but you never stood a chance."

"Looks like all your subordinates aren't superior to me after all" Ranpo smirked at Minoura, who just scowled at him. "Cut the crap" he bellowed,
finally snapping. "You've been going on and on about your great deduction skills and amazing detectives. You've been reading too many crime novels. Cases are solved through thorough investigations, interviewing suspects and witnesses, and studying the scene of the crime nothing else."

"When are you going to understand?" Ranpo countered "Great detectives don't do investigations. With my Ultra-Deduction ability I can instantly identify who the killer is and when, where and how the murder happened. Also, I can see in my mind's eye how to make the killer confess, where further evidence lies and all that jazz. I am gifted after all." Ranpo smirked up at the police officer who just gave him his signature scowl.

"Given my line of work I know of the gifted's existence, but if an ability as convenient as yours exists, then why do my colleagues and I still have a job?" Minoura challenged. "Exactly!" said Ranpo "My point exactly. Now you're understanding"

Minoura growled at Ranpo, clenched his fists and took a step towards the man. "You bastard!" he spat. Uh oh. That's not good.

"Excuse Ranpo-san officer, he's always like this" I smiled sheepishly at him, getting in between the two and putting my hands up as if to surrender. "Don't mind him"

"After all!" Ranpo began, probably making the situation worse "My motto is: all's well that's well for me!" And I was right. He was indeed, making it worse.

I glanced around at everyone. Already knowing Dazai's motto was 'Have a pure, cheerful and energetic suicide' and I heard Atsushi quietly mutter his motto to himself: 'What's better than being alive'.

My motto is: 'Luck sucks. Make your own luck'