Sea of Stars 별바다

Chapter 15

I hung up on Haneul. I needed to get myself together before I headed back inside so I went to the edge of the rooftop wall and tried to get my thoughts together. I pressed my palms deeply into the brick wall as I tilted my head down allowing some more tears to fall. My head kept shaking back and forth in a 'no' manner as I went through everything he said to me.

Was I the stupid one this entire time to think he was a good guy to begin with? Had I not seen any signs when we were younger or was I just oblivious for any sort of comfort? I felt stupid and sick to my stomach to think I had gotten myself in this position again in life. I thought I left all the traumatizing stuff in the past, but it seems like my life never gets easier.

My mind kept racing and at this point, I was shaking with such a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I have really been allowing him to put his hands on me and I have done nothing to help myself in this situation. We've been together so long that he was like my second family. I don't have an actual family anymore, I mean, they're alive but we cut ties a long time ago. Haneul was there for me, or so I thought he was. I crouched down and put my head against the brick wall.

"Luna?" I heard a soft voice speak from behind me. I froze knowing it was Bada. I got up from the position I was in but kept my back to her, not wanting her to see the tears in my eyes. I quickly wiped my face and eyes trying to get myself together. She came up behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Luna, look at me," her soft voice said. She was so gentle to me at this as if she knew I could break at any given moment. I turned to her and put on a bright smile trying to mask the ache I felt in my chest.

"Hey, what are you doing up here?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. You were gone for a while. I looked down at my phone to check the time. I had been out here for twenty minutes. I gasped seeing how much time I wasted for us today.

"Omg I'm so sorry, I didn't see the time," I said as I made my way to the door and rushed to our room. Bada followed closely behind while calling out my name but I kept walking. We needed to record this video today. I went to my bag and brought out some makeup wipes to wipe off any smudged mascara I had on my face. Good thing I only had mascara and brows on today. I quickly went to the mirror to wipe it off and Bada was there behind me with a worried expression. Of course, she must think I'm a nutcase, especially after seeing me break down the way I did the other day. Ugh, just another reason for her to look at me weirdly.

"Luna, we can film another day, you know? We don't have to-" she said but I cut her off.

"No, we have to today. I really want to. Plus we worked too hard to put it off for another day," I said. I honestly needed to do this dance to take my mind off of everything. Bada came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist as she put her head in the crook of my neck.

"Hey, we can take a breather you know. We'll film today if you want but you can take as much time as you need. Don't overwork yourself, hmm? We have all day here so there's no need to rush. I don't know what happened but you know I'm here. We can sit in silence if you want, you can talk to me about it, or we can call it a day. Whatever you want love. Just don't overdo it. Your mental and physical state comes before any of this." she said as she kissed my neck and pulled away from inside my neck.

I had my eyes closed this entire time taking in everything she said and did to me. She made my heart skip too many beats. As I opened my eyes, I caught her staring at me fondly. There was no hint of judgment in her expression. Everything she did showed that I could trust her. She smiled at me sweetly and I turned around and hugged her. We stayed in the embrace for what felt like forever until she picked me up by my thighs and carried me over to the ground. While I was out on the rooftop, she went to the convenience store and brought some snacks.