Sea of Stars 별바다

Chapter 26

Bada and I made it home really late yesterday. We just ordered in pizza and went to sleep early since today is gonna be a jam-packed day. Today, I was gonna go over to my apartment and get my things out. Me and Bada were already in the car on our way there.

"Don't be nervous love. You said this is the time he's at work. And if he is there, he can't do anything to you anymore, especially not with me around," Bada said grabbing my thing lightly for reassurance as she drove. I was kinda scared to see him again. Granted, it hasn't been that long since I've last seen him, but it still hurts to be in his presence. When we pulled into the parking lot of the apartment, I made sure to look around the parking lot for his car. Thank goodness it wasn't anywhere around. 

Me and Bada walked hand in hand to the elevator, my nerves still on one hundred. She kept lightly squeezing my hand to let me know everything was gonna be alright. I'm so glad I don't have to do this on my own and Bada is here with me. I just know it would've taken me forever to want to get my things out of here if it wasn't for her. Heck, I'd probably just leave all my things here and start anew. 

As we make it to the front door, I take a long breath in before punching in the numbers on the keypad. When we walked in, it looked like a junkyard. All of his clothes and junk were everywhere in the living room, and it looked like the garbage hadn't been taken out in days. I skipped over some trash as I made my way to the main bedroom. I stopped at the door as the night I left came flooding back into my mind. So much could've gone wrong that night, or much more wrong than it already was. Bada could sense my hesitation as she approached me.

"Hey, I can get all your things out and you can wait out there if you want," she said to me. It made me happy to know she was with me right now. 

"No, it's okay. It won't take too long to get everything, plus I know where everything is. Let's just get this over with love," I said giving her a weak smile. 

We decided to start with the closet and bring out my luggage and the rest of my clothes. As she finished up in there, I headed to the bathroom to get all my toiletries and other things I had. I bent down to look under the cabinet, and I found a hoodie I wore when I went to the hospital one of the times Haneul hurt me. There was still so much of my blood on it. 

As I hold the hoodie in my hands, my mind can't help but go back to that night. He had hurt me really bad to the point I had to take myself to the hospital. It was the same time Bada and I got into our fight because I was trying to distance myself from her. 

As I skim through that night in my mind, I remember the stab mark he gave me. I glance in the mirror and then lift the side of my shirt up to see if the wound has healed any, but sadly it is still there. I didn't see Bada standing by the half-closed door so I hurried and wiped my tears away and pulled down my shirt. 

"Sorry, I was getting emotional again," I said giving her a weak smile trying to play it off. Bada comes over to me and wraps me in a comforting hug. 

"You don't have to be sorry my love. I can't begin to imagine what you went through while you were here, but I know it won't be easy to get over it. You don't have to hold in your emotions around me love. I'm here for you now," she said drawing soothing circles along my back. 

"This hoodie was from the time I went to the hospital and wanted you to leave. I should've just told you what was going on then and maybe it wouldn't have gotten this bad," I said. I could feel Bada shaking her head on top of mine. 

"Don't think like that love. We can't change the past but we can make the best out of our future. You did what you thought was best for both of us at that time and I can never be mad at you about your decision. You were scared and anyone in your position would have thought to do the same thing. I understand you so much more now, love. You're such a loving person, ready to put everyone before yourself. I can't help but admire that about you. It's one of the reasons I love you so much because, despite everything, you still have the kindest soul. You don't give yourself enough credit baby," Bada said to me. Hearing her say such heartfelt words made the waterworks start. I was now on the verge of bawling my eyes out as tears seeped down my cheeks and my chest rose and fell with such roughness.