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Tears fell from his eyes and I hate myself for making him feel this way. "And then you left. And I didn't know why. Was I too clingy? Did I do something to make you leave me? With no word, nothing. Alone. So alone," he hugs himself and my heart breaks for him. I pull him into my arms and carry him to the bed. I laid beside him while his tears fell. "I can't be that anymore Luka. I can't be that scared little boy anymore. With no confidence, always second guessing myself. The voices telling me I'm not enough. I - I can't handle that pain again Luka." Carlos whispers making me pause. My eyes filled with tears and my chest constricted. I did this to him.
"I'm sorry Carlos. So sorry. I thought it was for the best. For both of us," I take his hand in mine and kiss the back of it. "Do you think we could try again? Would you trust me with your heart again?" I asked almost afraid of his answer.
"I - I don't know." I lost him. I squeezed my eyes shut as he turned away from me.
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Luka
After Carlos put together a makeshift phone like Mc Guyver I was able to talk to my father who was crying the whole time I spoke to him. I eyed Carlos as he walked around the place barely listening to my father as he spoke.
"Son, are you even listening to me?" Dad's voice booms over the line.
"Yea! Ya sorry, it's just all so much to take in," I sighed.
"I know my boy. But don't worry. Carlos will look after you and I am searching for the bastard that's doing this ok? I have to go now. Luka I love you son," dad says quickly and hung up before I could respond.
I put down the makeshift phone that weighed at least two pounds and continued to stare at Carlos. He really is beautiful. His back muscles bunched under his shirt which stretched nicely over his shoulders. His legs encased in dark blue jeans which fit him so perfectly. His ass molding to the material. His hair in that sexed-up look.
I laid on the bed, my mind rerunning the conversation we had last night. I really did mess up. Big fucking time.
"We have to move. Get dressed," Carlos says gruffly, not even looking at me. I sighed again.
"Where are we heading?" I asked as I grabbed a pair of pants and a jersey from his stash
"You are going home. I'm going hunting," he muttered.
"Oh? What about school?"
"Your father took care of that," he says. He still hasn't looked at me.
"Can you at least look at me?" I asked getting frustrated.
"I am." but he's actually looking at a place between my head and shoulder.
"You are looking past me," I muttered and went into the bathroom.
I punched the wall and cursed lowly. I hate myself. I am the one that caused this rift between us and here I am frustrated that Carlos isn't panting after me.
"Luka," I closed my eyes. He sighed loudly and came up behind me. his arms came around my torso and he rested his chin on my shoulder.
"Look. It's just ... it's weird having you here ok? I never thought I'd be able to tell you these things. I never thought I'd be here like this with you. I dunno.. it's just a lot to cope with and you know how much I hate change," he sighed again and tightened his arms a bit.
Fuck! I'm always such an ass. "I'm sorry. I know you hate change and I don't know why I keep expecting you to jump in my arms," we both chuckled. I hugged him back as he gently rocked us from side to side. I wish we could remain just like this. Forget Carlos' building was blown up a few days ago. Forget a psycho was trying to kill me. Forget we were in an underground bunker with a bunch of weapons. Just us.
We packed up some stuff, mostly weapons and I grabbed a few health bars to eat on the way to wherever we're going.
"I feel like I'm breaking out of Batman's cave," I murmured. Damn we were ducking and weaving through some... well it didn't smell so I'm guessing it's not the sewer but heck if I knew where we were.
"It's my cave so don't fuckin' bash it," Carlos murmured back pushing open a black door and sunlight almost burned my retinas clean off.
Before I knew what we were going to do gunshots rang out, I was tossed inside a cab and Carlos had his gun drawn while shoving me roughly to the floor of the cab.
Gunshots blasted and glass fell over me. Fucking hell! I wasn't prepared for this shit. My palms were sweating and I did all I could to calm my racing heart and stop the strangled scream that wanted to bubble up. You'd think I was on the set of an action movie with the loud blaring of horns, tires squealing, the sound of glass shattering and not to mention the repertoire of gunshots.
It was as if I was in a trance. I saw what was going on around me, I just couldn't process it. Could not understand why these violent things happened around me.
A warm hand in mine guiding me.
A handsome face in front of me.
A gentle voice speaking to me.
A gentle hug. That's when I lost my shit.
The shakes took over, my voice gone except to sob like a newborn baby. My heart racing as if it wanted to run away from me. Cold sweating, bile rising up to my throat as I dry heaved.
A pinch to my arm and then nothing but blackness.
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I am so friggin sorry for being a jerk and not updating but I seriously lost all my zeal to write this story.. but it's coming back..
I just ask that you give me some time to get a couple more chaps going and I'll be updating regularly.
I've just been so caught up in my other stories but I have decided to dedicate this month and November to only writing for this book and Elan's Pain.
i have also decided to write shorter chaps that will be updated frequently cuz that's the only way i can update at least twice per week. it's quite easier to write these shorter chaps
Bear with meh!
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Assassin's Love (BoyXBoy)
RomanceI was sold to the Russian MOB when I was three years old. It's the only life I know. I am eighteen years old and the best assassin the MOB has ever had. The one person I thought would be with me through thick and thin left me to become the animal...
