Chicago Universe ✔️

Jay- The Worst Heartache

Thank you @littlemisslabcoat for the request.
Trigger warnings- miscarriage

A year ago Jay and I married each other, I also came off the pill during our honeymoon since we knew we wanted a baby as soon as we married. 2 months ago I had been feeling sick, so I did a test which came out positive. To say we were ecstatic is an understatement. Of course we wanted to keep it to ourself for now, but Will found out after I had an appointment with Natalie at Med. So now my brother and sister in law know that I'm pregnant, but that's it. My parents have nothing to do with me and Jays have passed away.

I wake up for the first time since falling pregnant feeling good, which is a huge surprise because morning sickness (or all day sickness) has been kicking my butt during this pregnancy. Needing the toilet I get out of bed and head to the bathroom to pee before getting back into bed. Jay rolls over placing his arm over my waist
"Morning"
"Morning" I reply to his rough morning voice
"How are you feeling this morning?"
"Actually ok. I don't feel sick"
"That's good right? Maybe we can get more food into you today"
"Hope so" I turn over so I can snuggle into Jay a little more
"What do you want to do today?" He asks since he's got the whole day off
"Not sure. Maybe we should just have a bed day and watch TV"
"Whatever you want to do" Jay places a kiss on top of my forehead "I'll go and get you a cup of tea and some food after I've been to the toilet"
"Ok" I sigh as Jays warm body leaves mine. I snuggle closer into Jays pillow as I watch him walk into the bathroom turning the light on. As I'm laying in bed I begin to feel cramps in my stomach as if my period has started. Natalie did tell me that cramping is normal in early pregnancy because my body is changing. So not thinking anything of it I grab the TV remote as Jay heads downstairs and I turn the TV on looking for something for us to watch.

As the morning goes on the cramping seems to be getting worse which starts to worry me
"Babe I think somethings wrong"
"What do you mean?" Jay frowns turning towards me
"My stomach hurts" my ears start to well up with tears
"Do you feel sick?" I shake my head
"No. It's like cramps, they've been getting worse"
"Ok before we panic let me ring Will"
"Ok" I nod my head as Jay gets out of bed picking his phone up that's on the other side of the room. I decide I should get up and get dressed just in case Will wants to come over. As I get out of bed I notice that there's blood on the bed sheets. My worry turns into panic "Jay" I nervously say making him turn around "time to panic I think"
"I'm taking you to the hospital"

Miscarriage. That's what they said. Jay and I are back home. I'm back in bed curled up into Jay. I feel like all I did at the hospital was cry, Jay was strong but I know it's definitely effected him
"Are you ok?" I ask
"Your the one who had to basically give birth"
"I know but you lost a baby as well"
"I'm ok I promise. I love you"
"Love you too"

I wake up to the sound of crying. Opening my eyes I realise it's Jay sitting up in bed
"Babe?" I hear him sniffle realising I'm awake
"Sorry. Go back to sleep YN"
"Don't apologise for being upset" I now sit up in bed. I lean over and turn on my bedside lamp
"I'm supposed to be strong for you"
"No. Your supposed to grieve. We both are" I take Jay into my arms and kiss the top of his head while he cries "you've let me cry now it's your turn" I hold Jay letting him let out all of his emotions before he cries himself to sleep.

The following morning we discuss having a ceremony to help us with the grieving process.