Abused and Unloved~

Chapter Twenty Eight

The following day begins with new intentions. I couldn't do this anymore, I couldn't be the depressed little girl that everybody tiptoed around. I've never been that, I've never been her.

I was the strong smart girl who found a way to survive insane parents and keep her sister safe. This wasn't me. I can't keep doing pain. It hurts too much.

It's unbearable. I feel like I'm dying all the time.

Would Lucy want this? Would she want me to torture myself and make myself so incredibly sick to the point that I end up in the same situation as her? She wouldn't.

I'm dressed and almost out the door instantly yelling at Kaylee to hurry up before I'm outside.

I wanted school, I needed school. I needed a distraction.

"Good morning."

Jayden, who was busy on his phone immediately puts it down looking over at me with surprise.

"Well you're cheery."
"I've had a revelation."

He was now suppressing a smile at my insanely abnormal and almost unhealthy good mood.

"You did? Please go on."

I reward him with a smirk of my own. This "fake it till you make it" thing won't work unless I go full force. I can't fake smile around friends then cry in silence when I get a second alone. NO. I had to go in with maximum energy, no turning back.

"I did. I realized I need to stop feeling things irresponsibly. If I let all my emotions come at me at once— I choke."
"Very true."
"SO. I am a new person. New day, new me."

He shakes his head chucking as he tried to hide his relief and excitement from me. I guess he was waiting for me to get to this point on my own.

The door to the backseat opens and Kaylee comes in. She hadn't said anything to me since yesterday and I knew I had to talk to her.

She had to know I would be fine, that I had taken her words into consideration. I couldn't have her worrying about both of us. No matter how hypocritical that sounds.

I spent the car ride blasting the music from the car radio and bopping my head to it slightly and Jayden just let it happen still suffering from some shock.

Once we get to the school, before Kaylee walks away, I stop her.

"Hey listen. I know you're incredibly worried about me and I love you for it. I won't tell you to stop worrying because that's unrealistic, but I'm good. I really am."

I was still lying right through my teeth.

"I think you will be, and that's more important." She hugs me weakly then turns to run to class before the bell rang.

I half smile then take a deep breath preparing myself for the day. I've got to be different, no more people wasting their time worrying about me.

"We're not getting any younger Jess." I roll my eyes and walk quickly to catch up to Jayden. He holds my hand and I enjoy the feeling of pretending nothing is wrong.