Pure Wander {PUBLISHED}

Chapter IV

Chapter 4

EMBER

MOMENTS PASSED with my gratitude at it's highest peak that it could've been, for having Deigo in my arms. His warm skin pressing against mine, his arms secure around my back and his head muzzled into my neck. This felt too real to be another episode. I wasn't losing my marbles. I wasn't crazy, like everyone said I was. And I certainly did not belong in a mental institution. I let the liquid what formed pools in my eyes run down my cheeks like a waterfall. Deigo only held me tighter in response.

Losing someone is one of the worst kinds of pain anyone can experience, if not the worst.

I recall staying in my room for days on end. I didn't eat or drink. I wanted no interaction with anyone. I lost weight and depression set in. Just like when my dad had passed away. It was all too much for me. The amount of pain I felt when my dad passed away was indescribable. It was pure torture. I felt it yet again when I was told that Deigo had passed away.

It was terrible, to say the least.

I lost my best friend, my sidekick, my soulmate, you name it. I lost myself too. I was half a soul, half a heart and half a mind without him. Call it cheesy or whatever, but we were like two peas in a pod. And now we could, hopefully, be like two peas in a pod, again.

Confusion then replaced my thoughts.

After embracing each other in each other's arms, I slightly pulled back and looked into his emeralds. I was jumping up and down inside, feeling ecstatic.

"How? Why?" I breathed out. "I don't understand." I slightly shook my head as I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" His eyebrows frowned in confusion as he picked us both up from the ground and dusted himself.

I was at a loss of words. All I could say was "... you're dead."

Amusement replaced the confusion on his face as he chuckled and asked me, "What?"

"My mom-" I stopped speaking, finding it hard to carry on with my sentence.

"What about your mom, Em?" Deigo questioned me in a serious tone.

"She- she said that- that you had passed away." I answered in a barely audible tone.

Deigo's voice raised as he asked me, "What?"

I slowly nodded my head. "Yeah."

"Why would she say that?" Deigo had taken offense at the thought of my mother claiming that he had passed away. Hurt laced his tone.

Him and my mother were close. My mother adored him like her own son. She used to teased him and I, saying we'd make a very cute couple. I always preferred the latter. So did he. He always enjoyed my mother's food. Well, it at least seemed that way whenever he complimented her cooking when he used to have meals at my house.

"I- I don't know." I stated honestly.

"I really don't know." I tugged at the roots of my hair and pulled. I looked down to my worn out shoes. I wasn't the least bit surprised at their state. It made sense as I have been walking and running for days. My mind wandered to any possible, valid reason my mother had for telling me Deigo had passed away when he was standing right in front of me. Breathing.

My heart ached at the thought of her doing something that she knew would absolutely break me. She had hurt me. Intentionally. She didn't even try to tell me the truth whenever she saw my bloodshot eyes that were the result of my many tears. All she said was that "It's going to be alright." whenever she held me close to her in attempt to stop me from lashing out or from me having one of my episodes.

Why didn't she tell me the truth?

Why did she lie to me in the first place?

I remember when my mind used to trick me into thinking Deigo was there. It was as if I was hallucinating. And then he would disappear.

In fear of that happening again, I pleaded with him, "Please, don't go."

I looked up to see Deigo's worried face staring at me with concern.

"I'm not going anywhere, Ember." he came closer to me and held me at arms length. "Me being dead.. Well, that's crazy and absurd." Deigo's voice drifted at the thought of him being dead.

"I'm obviously not dead. I'm here. I'm right here with you." He stared into my eyes and at that moment I felt reassured.

"I'm not going anywhere. Okay?" his eyes wandered off into mine, looking for my approval.

"Okay." I said with a smile on my face and embraced him with my arms again. He hugged me back and let go after a while. He looked down at me and joked with me, "You grew a lil taller, shorty."

"I am not short!" I strongly objected.

I might be shorter than Deigo himself, but I am not short. I believe that I'm quite tall for my age and gender.

Deigo threw his head back and laughed. "Sure, you're not."

Damn. How I missed the harmonic sound of his laughter. It warmed my heart and made everything seem promising.

I folded my arms in what was an attempt of protest. I tried to be mad, even though I wasn't. I couldn't keep fighting the smile that so badly wanted to creep onto my face. I chuckled to myself, shaking my head.

Deigo threw his arm over my shoulders and started walking along the pathway.

I then noticed that he was wearing black Nike running shoes, black shorts with a grey vest.

"Were you jogging?" I questioned him.

"Yup." He emphasised the letter 'P'.

"Ew. You must be sweating." I playfully crinkled my face in disgust and then we both giggled.

"Hey, Em. Was it you I saw crossing the street by the traffic light yesterday evening?"

"Uh huh." I admitted as I slowly nodded.

Someone I knew had noticed me. And I was glad that it was him.

☆★☆★☆★

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