i sat backstage, watching another of gus' shows. i wasn't feeling 100% well tonight, so i was quiet than usual.
another girl walked around backstage. i could feel her staring at me at times, i ignored her, staring blankly towards the stage.
after a while, i thought i recognized her, it was the girl from the restaurant when i had seen gus again. his ex-whatever she was. what was she doing here?
i felt the other side of the couch i was sitting on sink, "doesn't he look great?" she asked me, getting comfortable beside me. "uh, yeah", i mumbled. odd of her to say that.
"you know who i am right?" she asked, "kinda, i guess" i answered, trying not to give into her.
"you may think you you have him, but you're just all shiny and new right now, he'll be over you again eventually. he knows where home is. my advice? back off" she threatened
"what are you talking about?" i was caught off guard. "everything was perfect until you came back. you ruined it, but i wont let it stay that way. we were engaged" she ranted.
"engaged?" i repeated. was gus lying to me? "yeah, he doesn't know yet, but" she paused to place her hand over her stomach.
i felt my heart drop.
"he'll have to come back, we've got a baby on the way, i should start showing more any day now"
"you're lying"'i told her, "i'm not, i'm warning you about what you're about to get into" she said.
"no, gus wouldn't lie to me. especially after all those years he had no reason to. he chose to have me back" i told her.
"he just wanted to see if he could still get you back. it's like a game for him" she told me, raising her voice.
"who even invited you here? get out of my face" i scoffed, getting up to walk out of the room.
"gus" she said, "oh my god no he didn't" i told her. why would he do that if he knew i'd be here?
"well believe it" she told me. "you're a psycho fucking bitch" i snapped at her, turning around.
we got closer, bickering at each other, yelling.
apparently we were loud enough to get gus' attention from stage.
you could see the shock and confusion on his face when he say layla and i next to each other.
"i-i'll be back" he said fumbling the mic back into the stand.
"what are you doing here?" he asked layla, he sounded angry. "i wanted to see you" she said.
"leave" he told her, "but-" she began, "leave, do i need to call security?" he asked.
"fine. i'm sure your new whore will fill you in" she said with disgust. "don't speak about her like that" gus said angrily. "or what?" layla asked.
"get lost. fucking bitch" he muttered, turning back to me as she finally left.
"i'm sorry about that babe, she's-" i cut him off. "we need to talk" i told him, turning to leave as well. "babe, wait" he tried to stop me, "babe" he called. "jj, fucking stop" he yelled.
"i'll see you at your place. have a good show" i smirked sarcastically. "wait, just wait one minute" he said. i stopped, standing impatiently.
he ran back to where the crew was, "i'm done, cancel
the rest. my apologies".
"talk to me please" he begged. "can we please get out of here first? i asked.
"i'll go get the car" he said, heading in the direction of the parking lot. i followed him, lagging a few steps behind.
"you have a lot of fucking explaining to do. just so you know" i warned him.
he just sighed and shook his head "crazy fucking cunt" he whispered to himself.
i slammed the car door shut, staying silent until we got home.
gus attempted to put his hand on my leg, i swatted it away. "jj please" he pleaded.
"maybe we should have stayed broken up" i said. "don't say that" gus told me, "why?" i asked. "i'm sure whatever it is layla put in your head is not true. she's crazy, i told you, she'll say anything".
"what about the fact that you were engaged? did you forget about that? or were you just straight up lying?" i asked him.
he's just pulled into his parking spot, i didn't wait for an answer before i stormed out of the car towards his apartment.
the second the door shut behind us i opened my mouth to start screaming at him.
"jj, i lied, and i'm sorry. layla and i were briefly engaged yes. it was about 2 years ago, only for a few months. but like i've said, she's crazy and i ended things and the we were on and off again until you came back in my life" he told me.
"why did you lie then?" i asked.
"i didn't want you to worry about her. she means nothing to me. i never thought i'd have to deal with her again" he sighed.
"that's real not a reason to lie about that. that's also
not all" i said.
"what do you mean?" he asked.
"she's pregnant. apparently it's yours" i said with a blank look on my face.
i could almost see the blood drain from gus' face as he went pale, all expression dropping from his face.
"so it's true?" i asked, i was concerned at his lack of immediate denial.
"no, no, that's not possible" he said, "well apparently it is. from the sounds of it she's a couple months along" i told him.
"no" he said, shaking his head.
"so, when was the last time you fucked her?" i asked
he shrugged, "i-i don't know" he said.
"since we've been seeing each other again?" i asked.
"no, baby i promise i haven't thought about anyone besides you since i saw you agin" he said
"mhm" i nodded.
"jj, please trust me, i love you, i never stopped loving you" he pleaded
"fucking bullshit" i yelled.
"you go sort your shit out. call me when you feel like telling the truth" i said, walking toward the door.
"jj, please stay, this doesn't have to change anything between us" he said.
"it changes everything" i said.
"fuck you gus, who even are you?". i slammed the door behind me and left.
i had so much going on in my head i couldn't process it. i cant believe he lied to me, i also have no clue what's gonna happen if she really is pregnant and it's his. i didn't sign up for that.
being with gus was supposed to be easy, but tonight is really making me dig into the parts of myself i hate and i've tried to hard to keep away.
YOU ARE READING
pandora | lil peep (SEQUEL TO SPACE CADET)
Fanfiction-"one day, curiosity got the better of pandora and she did open the box out flew plagues, sorrows, and all sorts of evils against man the only good thing in the box, was hope"
