jj's pov
i heard a few taps on my front door. i knew it was gus.
i cracked the door, making sure it was him. i opened the door to let him in.
we both stood there for a moment, i stood across from him, glancing up to meet his gaze.
just looking at him brought me to tears. i was hurting him so bad.
i broke down crying, gus caught me before i fell to my knees.
"i don't wanna keep doing this to you" i cried. "you aren't doing anything to me babe" he said.
"yes i am. i'm terrible to you and i always have been. you should have never gotten back with me. i deserve to be alone. it's the only way i don't hurt anybody" i told him.
"jj. stop. breathe. it's okay. i'm sorry i lied to you, i'm sorry i let layla get between us" he told me. he held me close against his chest, stroking my hair.
"do you hate me?" i asked
"you know i could never hate you" he said. "let's go to you room" he said, taking my hand to lead me there.
he sat on my bed, letting me sit between his legs. "what are you thinking?" he asked me
"that you're better off without me" i told him.
"that's not true, we both know that. i should have never let you go. i'm sorry, you just need someone to take care of you. i see that now" he said. he wiped my tears from my cheeks.
"you're so beautiful" he told me.
"don't leave me" i begged him.
"i'm not going to, never again" he said.
"why did you last time?" i asked
"i don't know" he said
"you're lying again" i told him, i could tell
"i didn't understand before, i do now" he said
"understand what?" i asked
"you" he said
"what about me?" i asked
"you're only a product of all you've ever known. you don't try to hurt people, and fighting with you does no good. you don't apologize because you don't know how, you've never had to. people usually leave before it gets that far. am i right?" he asked
"yeah" i mumbled, it was true
"you just need someone to love you, let me, i know battling your own mind is hard enough" he said
i sobbed tirelessly into his chest. "i love you gus, i'm sorry"
"it's alright, i love you more" he told me
i laid on his chest, listening to his heart. he was the only person that hasn't left me, he was all i had. i had scared myself and it only made me realize how much i couldn't stand to lose him.
"i'm gonna spend the rest of my life with you, we're gonna get married, and we're gonna have a baby" he said
"you really want that with me?" he asked
"of course" he said
"thank you" i told him
"for what?" he asked
"being you. loving me. not even my own parents could do it" my voice cracked.
"i'll always be here" he said.
"do you think we were meant to be together?" i asked him
"of course. i don't thing anything about us has been a coincidence" he smiled.
"can i come stay with you for a while?" i asked
"of course baby" he said
"i just wanna be with you" i told him
"you will be, pack a couple of bags. i'll get us an uber" he told me
"okay" i smiled. i felt like i was maybe finally okay, he'd make it okay.
YOU ARE READING
pandora | lil peep (SEQUEL TO SPACE CADET)
Fanfic-"one day, curiosity got the better of pandora and she did open the box out flew plagues, sorrows, and all sorts of evils against man the only good thing in the box, was hope"
