Her and I ✩ Hailee Steinfeld (G!P) ✔️

XXVII

| Hailee's POV |

It's just a dream...

Or a nightmare.

One minute I was telling Y/N I love her and the next, I'm plummeting out a window, falling to my possible death.

But I didn't die.

I cheated the system. Or did I? Was it a miracle? Was it a curse just to continue living out this nightmare every time I sleep? I need out... I need out!

Y/N... Y/N, oh Y/N, she's such an angel. Am I her devil? Maybe even her curse? Was I meant to find her? Be with her? Love her? No... no. I was born to run this business, to surpass my parents' success. This was my life.

But so is Y/N...

Oh, plummeting... falling to my death... crashing... the faint yells of Y/N...

Billie. Fuck, Billie. I couldn't save her, no no no. I couldn't save her, no! I-I need to go back, I-I need to save her, her life couldn't end like this!

Fuck! The voices... the voices are back! STAY BACK! STAY BACK! I SAID STAY THE FUCK BACK!

No no no no no no no! Y/N! Where are you?! Please! I need you! T-The voices... in my head... they're so loud and annoying! B-But they sound so familiar... all the same... they sound like... me? Is it me? Am I the voice of my own insecurities and fears?

Fuck fuck fuck. I need to get back to Y/N. How the hell do I escape my own mind? Maybe if I call for her...

Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! HELP! I NEED YOU! GET ME OUT OF MY HEAD! ITS SO TERRIBLE IN HERE, I NEED OUT! I NEED TO ESCAPE! HELPPP!

"Aw fuck!" I scream as I jolt awake, my body shaking rapidly as I hold myself, the clock read 12:37 am. Only midnight... midnight. Wow, I will not be able to sleep. I scan the room, feeling the bed, but to my disappointment, Y/N is not next to me. "Fuck." I scramble out of bed, trying to find her before I literally breakdown. I see the light on in the bathroom, making me push the door open harshly to see Y/N flushing the toilet.

"Haiz?" She rubbed her tired eyes, looking at my bloodshot ones as I swallowed hard, my chest rising and falling rapidly. "What's wrong?" She quickly washed her hands, drying them and wrapping her arms around my neck.

I wanted to pull away but my body and mind wouldn't let me. Deep down, somehow, I knew I needed this girl's comfort. I wrapped my arms around her waist, my hands slipping under the hoodie she stole from me, her warm skin under my touch felt nice, and it soothed me as I moved my face to hide in her neck.

I knew Y/N was worried, like majorly worried about me. I didn't even know what's been going on with myself, but sometimes, I get flashbacks of the accident. I just couldn't get it out of my head for some reason.

I didn't even realize my heartbeat had slowed down and my breathing had calmed down as well, not until Y/N slowly pulled away, placing her hand on my chest to feel my heartbeat. "Okay, normal." She whispered to herself before making eye with me, I couldn't help but get lost in her eyes. So beautiful. "Babe." She snapped her fingers in my face, snapping me out of my trance as I blink a couple times, staring at her blankly. "Hailee."

"Mm?" I hum, closing my eyes for a moment before reopening them, seeing her eyes filled with a large amount of concern. "What?"

"You have that look in your eye." She stated, touching my face as if I was injured. "The look of fear and panic. What's wrong? Do you need something? Is it your scars?" She bombarded me with questions, my eyes getting droopy from the lack of sleep as I let out a small sigh, feeling the burn from my scars beginning to form. "Did you take your medicine?"

My eyes snapped open at Y/N's question, I haven't taken my meds in a little while which might explain the burning feeling of my scars and that might also be the explanation for my nightmares and headaches.

"Baby." Realization dawned on Y/N's face as she scolded me, shaking her head and gently pushing me out the way, grabbing the bottle of pills I needed. "Take them. Please."

I nodded, grabbing them and taking two out, Y/N grabbed me a bottle of water and handed it to me, allowing me to swallow my pills. I close my eyes I as I set my water down, taking a deep breath in and out, trying to steady my nerves.

"Better?" Y/N asked, softly taking my hand and guiding me back to bed.

"Yeah." I smiled slightly, letting the younger girl push me down on the bed, laying on top of me as she rested her head on my chest. She still held my hand, bringing a wave of comfort to me as she stroked the back of it with her thumb.

"Just relax, and we'll lay here for a while." She whispered to me, kissing my neck softly and making me relax into her arms.