44| TWAS THE MISSION BEFORE CHRISTMAS

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It was a tradition for Lyla and Harper to decorate for the holidays when the month began

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It was a tradition for Lyla and Harper to decorate for the holidays when the month began. Ever since Harper could remember she and her family would decorate for Christmas together on December first.

It was one of Harper's favourite holidays.

But ever since their parents passed, Harper participated in her family's holiday rituals, hoping more than believing that the predictable delights would offer a kind of respite from her grief. However, she was still sad all the time and felt like she was only going through the motions for the sake of her sister.

Hardest of all, to her surprise, was being bombarded with recollections of Christmas past, reminders of times her parents and she would never get back. Sometimes she tried to share these memories with others, but in that haze of heavy grief, it was often impossible to summon and describe them.

But Christmas five years ago changed.

Harper was worried that holidays without her parents would always bring these feelings of isolation and anguish. But five years ago, when she had first met Leo and Tasha, they insisted on having Lyla and Harper spend Christmas with them.

Harper felt real warmth, the urge to smile, alongside the expected wave of pain.

It's not that the grief is gone, or even significantly lessened- Harper was aware of it every day. There are still times when 'celebration' is a task she must dutifully work at, not something she feels in her heart. But she also knows that carrying certain memories alone doesn't mean that she is alone, and she has come to appreciate the ones that surge during holidays and birthdays, letting them keep her company even when they bring sadness.

••••

It was Christmas Eve.

While Lyla was helping at the homeless shelter, Harper was over at the Davenport Mansion. It was a tradition that the siblings spent Christmas day at Harper's best friend's house.

Harper wore a Santa hat on her head, helping them decorate the house to spread holiday cheer. She, Adam and Chase had just finished putting up the decorations outside.

Adam and Harper whipped up a recipe for cookies to shape and decorate in the kitchen as they waited for Chase. They had a cutting board out, rolling the dough. Harper chose the gingerbread man and pressed the cutter into the dough. She picked it up and placed it on the already oil sprayed sheet pan.

"Donald..." Tasha began. "I just noticed the holiday card we mailed out. What happened to the family portrait we took to celebrate our first Christmas together?"

Harper couldn't help but chuckle slightly. Just a few days ago, the Wilson family received one of those holiday cards. Mr. Davenport's face was photoshopped on two random reindeer and a Santa in between with the letters, 'Happy Davendays!' in bold red letters.

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