innocent lotus flower

Feelings

Wei Ying woke up feeling groggy and a little confused in the evening. Somehow, he and A-Yuan had migrated from the couch to the bed. He smiled, realizing that only Wen Qing could have done that. Suddenly, what happened in the morning came back to him, and the smile froze on his face. He buried his head in his hands with a loud groan, feeling the urge to curse himself out. What if what he did made Lan Wangji angry? But then he snorted, thinking that if Lan Wangji got angry, then he was never sincere in apologizing. He clenched and unclenched his hands, a thoughtful frown on his face. What he said to Lan Wangji was only the truth.

He sighed and looked around the room, which was decorated with warm, rich colors. Although not too big, it had its own bathroom and a neatly arranged chair and desk off to the side. There was also a wardrobe that wasn't too big. If it wasn't for Wen Qing, he would have decorated the room with his favorite colors, red and black. But those colors wouldn’t have gone well—maybe when he moved to a bigger house in the future and made enough money, he would have a room for an art studio. He had always loved the feeling he got when he painted, where the world outside seemed to not exist and he became the only one in existence. The happiness he felt when he painted was something he had tried to hide all his life. When he got married, he completely stopped, but then in the Jiang house, when he would have been beaten or hurt by Madam Yu's words, he would lose himself in the world he painted for himself. He had started to draw again, little by little.

He sighed, cutting off his thoughts and preventing himself from spiraling into more thoughts. It was already good that A-Yuan slept so well. If he had woken up and Wei Ying was still asleep, he could already see the roof beam falling down because of his tantrum. He hefted himself off the bed and went outside the room. A-Yuan would be hungry soon, so he decided to make him dinner. Outside the door, Wen Qing looked up from her book when he came out, but he was surprised by the presence of Mainmain and Wen Ning.

He guessed he shouldn't be surprised that they were there, as they seemed to be there because of what had happened that morning with Lan Wangji. Wen Ning turned around and said,

"Wei Ying, we came to check on you and A-Yuan," Wen Ning said with a smile.

Wei Ying nodded. "Thank you, but we're both fine. A-Yuan slept well and I'm just about to make dinner."

Wen Qing stood up. "Let me help you."

Wei Ying smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Wen Qing. That would be great."

As they started to prepare dinner, Wen Ning and Mainmain helped set the table and chatted with Wei Ying. It was a comfortable and easy conversation, and Wei Ying felt grateful for their company. He knew he still had to talk to Mainmain as she was his therapist, but it didn't matter for now—he just wanted to bask in the comfort of his friends.

After dinner, they all sat around the living room, chatting and laughing. Wei Ying felt happy and content, surrounded by people who cared about him.

As the night wore on, Wen Ning and Wen Qing left because they had a shift at the hospital. He bid them goodnight, leaving Wei Ying and Mainmain alone in the apartment.

"Thank you for helping me with dinner," Wei Ying said, smiling at Mainmain.

Mainmain smiled back. "It was my pleasure. I'm glad we could spend some time together."

Wei Ying nodded. "Me too. It's been a while since we've had a chance to catch up."

Mainmain looked at him. "Wei Ying, are you okay? You seemed a little off earlier."

Wei Ying sighed. "I had a fight with Lan Wangji this morning. I said some things that I shouldn't have."

Mainmain nodded. "I see. Do you want to talk about it?"

Wei Ying shook his head. "No, it's okay. I just need to figure things out on my own. It's something I want to do on my own. I know I have to tell you these things as my therapist, but just give me some time."

Mainmain nodded again. "Okay, but if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you."

Wei Ying smiled. "Thank you, Mainmain. I appreciate it."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before Mainmain stood up. "I should probably head back to my own apartment. It's getting late."

Wei Ying nodded. "Of course. Thank you for coming over."

Mainmain smiled. "Anytime. Take care of yourself, Wei Ying."

Wei Ying walked her to the door and watched as she left. He felt grateful for her friendship and support. As he turned to head back to his own room, he felt a sense of calm wash over him. He knew that he still had things to figure out, but he also knew that he had people who cared about him and would be there for him no matter what.

His thoughts were interrupted by A-Yuan's loud cries. "Oh great, the ancestor has woken up." He hurriedly made his way to his room, where his son, A-Yuan, was crying. He gently scooped him up into his arms, cradling him close. As he looked into his son's eyes, he noticed that not a single tear had fallen, despite the intensity of his cries. He couldn't help but marvel at how smart and perceptive his child was, always knowing exactly what to do to get what he wanted.

With a playful smile on his face, he threw A-Yuan up into the air, eliciting a joyful giggle from the little one. In that moment, all of his worries and thoughts seemed to fade away, replaced by an overwhelming love for his son. He stopped tossing him in the air and instead pulled him into a tight hug, cherishing the warmth and connection between them.

Ever since A-Yuan was born, Wei Ying had always allowed him to hug him for as long as he needed whenever he was feeling sad. Even when A-Yuan squirmed and wiggled, he never complained. However, if Wei Ying tried to hug him in a more conventional manner, A-Yuan would always try to escape his embrace.

Moving away slightly, Wei Ying faced A-Yuan and playfully pinched his nose. "Alright, little one, let's get some food in you," he said with a sigh.

He knew that their sleep schedule had been disrupted today, with A-Yuan napping in the afternoon and now awake in the evening. It was likely that they would both be going to bed late tonight.

With that in mind, Wei Ying made his way to the kitchen, fully prepared for a long night ahead. Despite the challenges, he couldn't imagine his life without his son by his side.