Chalant Candlelight

Chapter 45

"Okay, once I bring you into your mind, you have to travel through your own mind, I can't help you with that part. Once you find the way to extend your mind to Artemis's you'll find me," Magan explained as we both lay on two other tables,

"How long will it take?" Zatanna stood at my side, her arms crossed and her hand on her chin,

"It could be from two minutes to two days, it all depends on his mental strength," Magan answered,

"Two days?" Zatanna exclaimed,

"It all depends on Robin." Magan reiterated. Zatanna drew a shakey breath before having to lower herself into the stool next to my table,

"I don't know about this." Zatanna held her face with her hands, her elbows rested on the table next to my waist,

"It's going to be fine," I assured lifting my hand, almost moving her hair back before stopping myself,

"Are you ready?" Magan asked me,

"Sure," I said getting comfy on the table. I took a deep exhale before everything went black

I felt like I was falling before landing in the pitch black, on my feet. I tried to look around but it was useless and too dark. A flicker of light in the distance caused me to rush towards it, a droning spotlight, then another one next to it. I ran towards it until I met the edge of a pitch cliff looking off to the familiar scene of a circus, my earliest memories, my earliest trauma. I watched as my parents splattered onto the ground. I think most people don't realize that when someone you love dies in front of you brutally it's not just sad, it's disgusting. It's disgusting to see skulls melted onto the floor, to see lifeless eyes looking back up at you. I watched the scene unfold, I had prepared myself to see this again, and though it put me into a melancholy mood, it wouldn't break me. No, it couldn't break me, I had to be strong, I had to ignore the past and get to Artemis, and get back to Zatanna who was waiting impatiently for me.

I walked away from the scene to the next area of my mind, meeting Bruce, the happiness we shared for years passed by in a carousel before my eyes. As the ride moved it began to turn sour. The scene unfolded as such,

"Just leave the circus!" He screamed at me, I was fourteen at the time and we had been fighting for a while at this point,

"Leave my family?" I shouted back,

"Yes! Leave them! All it does is attract bad press, and the tattoos, geez Dick!"

"Bruce, this is me," I cross my arms, "The tattoos, my family, the circus, everything you hate, it's all me," I made him realize something before he hit me, for the first time, he hit me, and it hurt. I was stunned, he was too for a second as we stood there both frozen, my hand on my cheek. I had been hit before by jerks in the circus and by villains and thugs, it wasn't anything new. But coming from Bruce, it broke my heart, I never expected it to be him,

"I never should have taken you in," He sighed more angry with his own actions, or that I had driven him to violence,

"Then throw me away!" I remember screaming out with my voice going raw and tears bursting from my eyes, "Kick me out, I'll go back to the circus, just let me leave this awful place!"

He never did let me go...something about keeping his pride...

I left the carousel of our relationship before it could get worse, because trust me, that wasn't the worst of it. Rushing forward I relived some of my worst memories through the years but with determination, I left the awful unfolding scenes around me until I hit a door causing me to stumble back,