Chalant Candlelight

Chapter 47

(Robin's POV)

Every time I closed my eyes all I could see were camera flashes until they fizzled down to just one phone camera on me.

"Robin?" Zatanna nudged me, I instinctively flinched making her frown at me,

"Huh?" I questioned, a little dazed, looking around at her mansion, we were in the kitchen and I was at the island, she was across having been baking. She had called me over for company,

"You've been out of it since yesterday, what's going on?" She questioned. I looked at her for a while contemplating whether or not I wanted to- whether or not I could- say anything, "Is Bruce hurting you again?" She came around the counter to inspect me for damage but I quickly took her hands in mine,

"He hasn't done anything. He hasn't even talked to me since we ran out of the cave, he just glares at me and avoids me," I assure her the truth,

"Okay," She nodded, still looking for the issues, "Is it because of Magan's mental thing?"

"I guess," I shrink in the stool, letting her hands travel to my shoulders, "I don't know, I knew what I was getting into when I said I could do it, but I didn't expect it all to feel so real, my memories, that is," 

"Oh," She spoke, her eyes on the floor between her feet as silence filled the room. I snake my hand's waist pulling her in, much to her surprise. My head against her chest comfortably as she wrapped her arms around me, stoking my hair a little,

"I'm fine though, I promise," I say with a content smile she couldn't even see,

"Tell me, okay? tell me when it gets all too much to handle," She holds me even tighter, "I'll handle it for you, I'll take all your grief away, I promise I will," She rests her cheek on the top of my head. We stayed like that for a few moments as I took the time to rest my eyes. When I was in her embrace the cameras were gone and it was just peaceful darkness. All the whispers and gossiping voices in my head fell silent as I breathed in her strawberry scent. She pulled away taking the warmth with her as she held only my shoulders,

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Later that day-ish

It had been a week since Bruce hit me with his car, the bruises still evident on my sore body. Bruce had avoided me for as long as he could while looking like a kicked puppy the whole time. It had finally come to a head when he pulled me into the library after I had showered and gotten dressed in a muscle shirt and shorts,

"I've got to talk to you," He said unable to stand the silence between us, "Why are you showing your tattoos-" He muttered to himself before remembering he wasn't trying to come off as mean anymore and instead was trying to show some ice cold almost-but-not-quite remorse. He often did when he knew he crossed the line. The line was rarely crossed as I was accustomed to him hitting me, dragging me places, or overworking me in the training room. However, there were a few times that it was obvious the line had been crossed, I won't go into details as I tended to repress as much of the violations as I could,

 "Dick, I just want to..." It was very difficult for poor emotionally stunted Brucie to apologize, "...Hitting you with my car might not have been...the most friendly thing to do,"

"Hmm." I put my hands in my pockets with tight lips, shifting around on my heels and toes trying to take in his awkward...apology?... or whatever he was trying to say,

"Yeah, okay," I nod casually,

"What do you mean?" typical Bruce, getting angry and raising an eyebrow at me perfect indicator that in two to three seconds I would either be slapped or degraded, usually fun, but not coming from Bruce. But this time, he didn't hit me when he lifted his hand even though I instinctively flinched away. But instead of a sharp stinging pain in my face, I felt his hand caress my hair behind my ear to reveal all the bruising on the side of my face from last week,

"Oh dick," He sighed seeing the damage he caused, "I don't mean to do these things, it's just-"

"it's just natural," I respond blankly,

"look when you broke down that night, it made me realize that I've been treating you horribly."

"It's okay." I averted my eyes wanting to get out of the uncomfortable interaction as soon as possible,

"No, Dick, It really isn't,"

"Honestly, I don't think I'm ready to talk about it yet,"

"What do you mean?"

"I think I just need some-"

"No, we can talk about it now or not at all-" He snapped at me,

"I rolled off your windshield just last week," I raised my voice right back at him, "I-I- you could have killed me, Bruce," I took a step back, "Was that what you were hoping for?" I questioned making his eyes go wide,

"What of course not-' He attempted to say but I cut him off,

"Were you trying to get rid of the charity case from the bad side of town who does nothing but disgrace your name with my circus ties and make headlines with my leaked sex life?" Tears well up in my eyes,

"I wasn't trying to hurt you,"

"I didn't know she was filming, I really didn't," I assured with pain in my expression, choking out, my hand over my chest to stop the sudden heaving. Guilt flooded my head and suddenly, in my mind, I was the one who had messed up everything and he had a valid reason for all he had done to me, "and the mobster thing, I had to do it for Romanov, she was being threatened, and-and that fight at the school I promise I didn't start it, an-and-" I lost my mind and started apologizing for all the scandals I had been apart of, "An-and I really didn't know she was filming me," I say again when I hunched over my hands grasp the front of his shirt as I lean my head on his chest. My sobs were evident as my tears fell from my eyes and dripped heavily on the floor. The camera flashes faded until it was down to one small phone held by a brunette,

"It's okay, Dick, It's okay," He rubbed calming circles in my back, 

"It's all my fault, it's all my fault," I cry into his chest, "I've ruined your life,"

"No, I should have protected you from those things," Bruce said, "I'm the one who failed you,"