Chalant Candlelight

Chapter 66

(Robin's POV)

I had explained previously to Zatanna just how important this specific performance was for the Circus and how, despite our regular routines and performances we had been practicing for, this one we had been training for since the beginning of summer. It was an ethereal and dreamlike summer haze-themed performance in a fairy forest of pastel creatures and glittery glossy visuals.

We had prepared all day for the performance and now it was down to two hours before the performance and I was in my trailer staring at myself in the mirror. My skin's warmth was highlighted in this frosting of glossy baby blue that ran across my cheeks and nose, across my collarbone, elbows, and knees, along with my back, my hair was sprayed white and blue to match the white contacts that covered my eyes. And little blue horns were worn on an unnoticeable wire headband. My costume was just as dazzling, some of the tulle sheer fabric accents were literally gravity-defying and made me the creature of the sky and clouds, the mischievous, sly, spirit who taunts and inconveniences the heroine the whole story until the last act where my character makes an uncharacteristically selfless sacrifice for the heroine and bleeds out on the ground in front of her as the spirit and the girl cry together. Quite the tragedy.

Following the performance tonight there would be a sort of after-party for Haly's circus and all the investors, and vendors, makeup artists, costumers, everyone directly and indirectly involved in the production. It would be quite the event. I, being one of the stars was forced to attend as everyone was very impressed with Dick Grayson, in the circus and performing world.

"Rob?" Zatanna opened the door of my trailer just to pop her head in. She broke my concentration on myself as she gasped at the shocking and unrecognizable way I looked. She let herself in all the way, the door closed behind her, "You look..."

"Crazy I know," I rolled my eyes with a slight chuckle, the corset around my waist restricting a lot of my breathing but my waist had never looked smaller and inhuman as now,

"...Beautiful..." The words barely left her lips while she took in the sight,

"Oh," I acknowledge, turning to her. She approached slightly bewildered slightly cautious but so enthralled, "Why do you look like you want to pin me to a plaque by my wings like a butterfly?" I got a little uncomfortable with her staring,

"No, it's just that you look so cool," She smiles ear to ear now that she was close enough to see the man behind the costume, 

"Well, I need some help," I turn around to my vanity pulling out the dark blue lip liner, lighter blue lipstick, and blue glitter gloss, "My makeup artist left this for me to put on after I finished eating and brushing my teeth but my hands haven't stopped shaking," I didn't want to ask for her help or see the pity on her face when she noticed the lip products shaking in my grasp but I couldn't control it,

"Of course." She took the products from me, sitting herself on my vanity to face me. I stood between her knees as she began to line my lips with perfect accuracy as if she had studied my plump pout perfectly,

"Why have your hands been shaking?" She asked, engrossed in my lips, pausing for me to speak after lining them,

"Something at practice today triggered a memory but I'm okay, it just shook me up for a second, I guess my body doesn't realize it's not in any danger yet," I spoke plainly, even chuckling a little at the end. She applied the blue lipstick to my lips, blending it perfectly with the darker shade of liner then topping it with the gloss,

"You promise, you're really okay?" She stared into my eyes searching for any chance I was lying but I wasn't lying, I was okay,

"I'm fine, really," I assured, leaning in to kiss her forehead but she quickly stopped me with a hand on my chest pushing me away,

"Lipstick remember," She didn't want to ruin her art or have a blue smudge of glitter on her forehead,

"Right," I sighed giving her hand a little squeeze instead, "I have to get backstage now, but I left your outfit here and your tickets are on the box,"

"Okay, see you, at the show," She bid me farewell, and out I went,

The performance went perfectly. My shakiness had subsided once I got back into my element, I leaped, flipped, tumbled, and soared across the place, depicting the wordless characters perfectly with my costar who had a similar, yet less creature-like costume but still hued in the same ways only in a baby pink way with deep green vines and multicolored flowers decorating her.

The last act had started and it was no time before I had to make the sacrifice. My character swooped down in front of the heroine just as the sharp blade of the enemy priced through me, leaving me on the floor, defeated, the heroine stooped down to hold me, the spirit, the menace who turned to her friend and then to her savior. The performer and I had practiced this scene many times and mustered the tears needed each time and this time was no different, Both of us were able to tap into the mental state. Only this time when the lights darkened signaling the end of the performance and she and I ended up backstage she was able to stop crying. I was not. The other castmates all surrounded me in an attempt to comfort me or see what was going on but seeing that I was still crying from the performance, soaked in my own fake blood, they gave me some space letting me go back to my trailer, so we could all get ready for the after party.

My eyes were pouring as my blurry vision led me to stumble back into my trailer where I sat down defeatedly at my vanity. Unable to gain any composure I simply began removing makeup and peeling off pieces of my costume.

The door cracked open, once again revealing a solemn and careful Zatanna, 

"I asked the ringmaster, he said you weren't feeling okay anymore," She said softly,

I turn to her my eyes already welled up and tears already staining my face, my makeup half gone, my contacts removed. I burst out crying once more just looking at her. Quickly she was at my side her arms around my face as she pulled me into her chest, crying into her overcoat,

"I'm sorry," my sob was muffled by her coat, "I thought I was okay," 

"What happened, you've been practicing for this death scene for two months almost?"

"It's the night my parents died," I admitted making her stiffen,

"Oh honey," She sighed,

"It's okay, I'm fine really, It's been ten or more years since, I barely remember them but it's just the way it all happened, the blood, the floor of the circus, everything. My body remembers that night more than my mind does," I say still choking on the ongoing caravan of tears my eyes were forcing out,

"I understand, experiencing something like that at such a young age has to get to you sometimes,"

"I'm fine now that you're here," I true to her pulling her and her coat away to get a glance at the aesthetically matching multicolored but primarily lavender dress she wore so sophisticated yet holding onto the whimsical theme of the night, especially her strappy stilettos with the butterfly on the back of her ankles and my hairpin in her hair, "You look gorgeous," I smile up at her, making her blush with that lavender blush that always made her look so cute, "Let me go shower up then we'll go to the after party," I stood up to kiss her forehead now that my lips were clean of any blue,

"Hurry," She smiled.