Shattering Constellations | Countryhumans |

✩* ⋆ 16 ⋆ *✩

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ Control Yourself ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

America POV

Canada got sent back home early for using inappropriate language and spreading "false" rumors. After he left, Russia started telling everyone that my brother is delusional. China kept quiet the whole time. He knows better not to make the Russian angrier. After all, he caused all this. Russia will be at his throat when school's over.

Thankfully, no one told Ukraine about it. I was talking with Germany and he told me that he and Poland were able to get Ukraine to stay out of it. The Ukrainian just gave questioning glances when she gets pulled away to the side but the couple—well almost—were always able to direct her attention elsewhere. I chuckled and said, "she's plain oblivious." It got the German angry and I didn't know why. He stormed off, not saying a word after.

After school, North Korea showed me a video of Russia and China behind the school building arguing at each other. It soon got physical and both started giving heavy blows. Blood was on the wall and both had a lot of bruises. North Korea laughed at all this. I continued to stare. Two of the strongest countries in our school are fighting for something so minor. I wonder what they would do when they get into a bigger complication. I better watch out. I need to keep my gun with me at all times.

I reached home to find a crying Canada on the couch. He's hugging a pillow while Mommy tries comforting him. She smiles weakly at me before looking back at my sobbing brother. "Amérique." She starts, voice soft. "Do you have any idea who stole Ukraine's virginity?"

I swallow hard. I do know. China told me. "Yes. I do." I whisper, voice shaking. Canada sits up and stares at me with pleading puffy red eyes. "China told me." I stutter out. Upon hearing the name, Mommy stiffens but relaxes soon after.

Canada gets off the couch and crawls over to me. "Amy, you have to tell me. I need to know." He grabs my arm. I wince at his nails digging into my flesh. I know he's desperate but I can't tell him when he's so emotionally controlled. I pull my arm away from him. He looks at this as a sign of "no". He continues to beg, "please Amy. I'll do anything."

I look at Mommy for help and she stares at me, expecting me to spill the secret out. "Maple, I don't think you can take it. Go back to your room and come out when you're mentally prepared." I say sternly. My brother agrees and scurries off into his room. I watch him leave, worried what he might do after. His heart is broken. He could never claim the love of his life.

I take off my shoes and close the front door. I've been standing there since I've entered. I didn't know how to tell Canada about this. I silently walk over to the couch and sit next to Mommy. She hands me a cup of tea which I gratefully take.

Silence follows after as we look out the window to see Father yelling at New Zealand to shoot an arrow right. I set down my cup of tea and look at my lap. I can't bear not telling him, but he'll go crazy once he knows. F*cking Canada!

I feel Mommy's soft hands on my shoulder. I can feel her concerned gaze fixated on me. "What's wrong?" What's wrong? Everything's wrong! And the problem is UN high school.

"Mommy, this school is a hell hole." I look at her, tears forming. I don't care about how others treat me. I'm fine with it. I was always the outcast. But seeing Canada—the most cheerful country on the planet—go through so much drama makes me heartbroken. "None of this would've happened if we stayed in human schools. They are much more civilized."

Mommy looks at me confused. "Un high school gives the best education. I don't want my children going to a filthy school. Besides, you two are scoring high in all your classes."

"You don't understand." I say, "they are manipulators, hungry for power. Some go off finding their next prey, beating them up till there's a bloody pool around." I think about the Ukrainian in her own pool of blood after North Korea and Vietnam were done with her. I can still remember seeing a slight grin on Russia's face. How he cares for her. "Everyone wants to control you." I finished my statement.

Mommy hums in acknowledgement. I'm hoping she'll understand. "That's just the way of the world." She giggles and taps the tip of my nose. I flinch. I guess she's right. I'm just not used to it. And besides I'm no better myself.

I broke people. Made them want to die for me. I manipulated them into believing I was their only chance of being loved. It's just that I did none of it in UN high school. I can't do it. For months I told myself to change. To be better. I don't think I'm getting better. At least it's not me who's in trouble.

"Mommy, do you think I'm bad?" I ask in a low tone.

"Why would I think that?" Mommy questions. She cups my cheeks and plays with them, which I hate. But I tolerate it if it's from her. "You're an angel. Many just don't know it yet." She smiles warmly, giving me some hope inside. We sat in nice silence for a few moments until Mommy asked me who stole Ukraine's virginity.

"Mommy, I can't tell you." I mumble, looking at the ground guilty. "I made a promise." I whisper.

Mommy looks mad. "I'm your Mother. Who cares about some stupid promise you made with another country?" I don't reply. I don't want to make eye contact with her. A promise is a promise. "Look at me. Look at me!" She forcefully turns me to look at her. She caresses my cheek. I flinch at the touch. "Bébé, I'm your mother. Tell me." She laughs silently. I could only stare at her. It's been so long since she got mad at me. I forgot how scary it was. "Tell me!"

"Amy! I'm ready!" I hear Canada scream from upstairs. I get up to leave. I hear Mommy whispering please. Has she forgotten I told her nothing about my life? She never asked me. But when Canada's involved she begs me to tell her.

I pull my arm away from Mommy's grip harshly. "You will know when the time comes." I say. I turn to leave, not wanting to look at her face. I step into Canada's tissue littered room. He's on the bed patting the space next to him. I take a deep breath. I don't think I should tell him. He's not ready. Even if he's trying to seem calm, I know he's freaking out inside.

I sat next to him. We stayed in silence for a few moments before I finally made my decision. "Maple, do you really want to know–"

"Yes Amy, please tell me." Canada pleads. I look at him, unsure of what to say. Why am I so hesitant? He is my brother. He should know about this. I want him to find a better lover, but I don't want him to leave Ukraine. She's a sweet country. Though weak, she's still able to withstand pressure that others can't face. Why am I like this?

"Promise me you won't do anything to the country who took her virginity." I mumble. I hear Canada shuffle around the bed. I know he wants to get revenge, but I can't let that happen. I fumble my fingers, "do you want to know or not?"

"Amy, I can't promise that. You know I can't."

"Please Maple. I'm begging you." I bite the inside of my cheek. I hear him sigh. He says he promises and I'm still not ready to tell him the truth.

"Constrain yourself. It was China."

‧͙⁺˚･༓☾　😱　☽༓･˚⁺‧͙