Shattering Constellations | Countryhumans |

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Scene IX

Young America POV

I wipe my tears, staring at the ceiling of my room. It's not like I care. I'm not jealous. It just hurts. I don't even like him. Why am I feeling this way though? Maybe it's because I know he'll leave me for Confederate. Maybe it's because I'm happy for my sister. After all, she's been dreaming about this day since forever!

Maybe it's my problem. I'm not good enough for China; he's too good for me. This is how our friendship ends, I guess. Will we still meet each other at the park on Fridays? Probably not. Confederate definitely won't be jealous of me anymore. That's good.

I wonder what the future has in store for us.

...

It's another Friday and I'm debating if I should go see China. I don't want to see him, but then I want to see him. I sigh, getting out of bed. I wouldn't want to be a bad friend and make him wait for me. I wear a white t-shirt and some shorts.

I make my way down the hallway and out the front door. I stay there, on the front porch, wondering again if I should go. "America, just go. You can ask him about it," I grumble to myself. I take a deep breath and start walking to the park.

I wonder if all those things that Italy and Estonia told me were true. I wonder if China actually likes me. Of course not! He has so many options and he's now dating Confederate! I don't know why but I want to cry. I want to cry my heart out whenever I remind myself of them dating. I kick the rock on the ground in frustration. Why am I feeling like this? There's no way I'm jealous!

I enter the park and quickly rush to our secret meet up place. There's no way it's even a secret place anymore. I'm sure China invited many girls here. He talks to girls everyday so how is it that he talks about me twenty-four seven? Impossible.

I crawl under the bush and get up, dusting the dirt off my knees. I look over to the golden bench and see China feeding the ducks apple slices. I swallow. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to see him.

He turns to me and I freeze. "Hello 美国," he smiles softly.

"Hi," I mumble, walking over to him. I sit next to him on the bench, but try keeping my distance. He tries to hold my hand, but I snatch my hand away.

He frowns, "I did something wrong, didn't I?"

"No. Your hands are sticky. That's all." I reply.

He slides closer to me on the bench. "Then why are you acting like this?" He mumbles, sorrowfully.

"Why?" I scoff quietly. "Maybe because our friendship is breaking."

"Is this about Confederate?" He asks, holding my arm.

I flinch, "not only her, but all the girls you talk to."

"Are you jealous?" He asks, apologetically.

I sigh, "well, no. When we meet up, you usually talk to another girl on the phone. You clearly have better friends to talk to so why even bother meeting me on Fridays."

"I didn't know that. I'm sorry," he mumbles softly.

We sit in silence, looking at the ducks that are all fighting for the last pieces of apple on the ground. I swallow, "maybe it's better off if we stop hanging out—."

"No." China grabs my hand tightly. "Please, don't go." He whispers, desperately.

I bite my lip, "You already have Connie. You don't need me anymore."

"I don't care about her. I care about you." China stutters. I stare at him, confused. He sighs, "I don't like her."

"But you're dating her?" I say, more like a question.