KIMCHAY TALES: BITTERSWEET EXCHANGE

CHAPTER 17

"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."

—

Almost 2 months of recovery and Chay is already back to work. He lost count of how many times he assured his brother that he was fine and that he could resume his job. Or so he thought.

Chay may have survived the bullets, but he never survived the trauma that night had given him. He would often find himself jolting awake from his sleep, body drenched in sweat and breathing deeply repeatedly. The sight of the man being shot in the head plays in his dreams over and over again. The blood. The sound of the gunshot. The way the dead man's eyes stared at him. Everything that happened that night is bothering Chay in his dreams.

He's becoming restless because of this. Chay tried to hide it from everyone, especially from Kim. He thought he was doing well. He did his work well like before, yet sometimes he missed or forgot something. Other than that, his face shows it all. The exhaustion is clearly evident on his face, especially the dark eye bags underneath his eyes.

"What's up with you?" a voice startled Chay, breaking his trance. Chay is staring into nothing again for the nth time that day. "You're wasting water. Turn that thing off," he added.

Chay turned and saw Kim eyeing him thoroughly, "N-Nothing, Khun Kim." he stuttered and turned off the faucet. He tried to suppress a yawn. The exhaustion is all over his body. He doesn't know how long he can keep this up.

Kim squinted his eyes and stared at Porchay from head to toe. He can tell even though Porchay won't admit it. Porchay looked lethargic as if there was no energy left in him. Odd thing since there were barely things to do at home. The house is clean. The house is in order. Yet, why does Porchay look so tired? "You look... bad. Something happened." Kim said.

Chay shook his head, "No. Nothing happened, Khun Kim." he said listlessly. He started to have headaches due to his fatigue. He badly wanted to sleep, he was just afraid of the dream he would have. His ears were almost ringing just by the thought of the sound of a gunshot. Chay shivered.

Kim rolled his eyes, "It wasn't a question, Porchay. Something did happen. What is it?" he asked. He leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms, waiting for Porchay's answer.

Chay remained silent for a while, thinking if he should make up a lie or tell the truth. It's a good thing that Kim and Chay were starting to get closer again. However, Chay doesn't want Kim to worry about him again. He witnessed what Kim had been through when he was recovering. It was tough and he doesn't want to put Kim through it again.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Porchay," Kim warned. Porchay snapped his head in Kim's direction and stared at him with wide eyes.

Chay blinked a few more times before speaking, "I-I w-wasn't– I-I'm not–"

"It's written all over your face, Porchay. So, what is it really?" Kim pressed on. He was unconsciously tapping his foot as his patience was getting thinner.

Chay bit his lips and spoke, "It is just– I'm j-just having trouble sleeping these past few weeks." he said, scratching his head in embarrassment.

Kim nodded once, "I can see that. Why?" he asked.

Chay gazed down to the floor, "It keeps repeating in my dreams, Khun Kim." he paused. Kim waited for him to speak again. Chay looked at Kim again, his eyes were almost in tears, "Everything happened that night, it keeps repeating in my dreams." he said. Tears start to fall from his eyes, "T-There... T-There was a man... I... I w-watch him get shot in the head." he said and cried. He buried his face in his hands and continued sobbing, pouring out his emotion from his little heart.

Kim stared at Porchay as he cried. He understood what Porchay was going through. How horrifying it was to see someone die in front of you. To witness how they were killed. Kimhan can still vividly remember the day his mother died. Her pale, lifeless body lying in the pool of her own blood. It was terrifying. He was thinking about what he could have done to save his mother, but it was too late.

Kimhan could still remember how his older brother Khun cried so much when it happened. He could remember how he comforted Khun with his wails when he himself was dying inside. His innocent heart broke into tiny million pieces. His blank stares and gentle pats on his brother's back.

Unconsciously, Kim—like what he did to Khun before—pulled Porchay into his arms and let him cry on his shoulders. He could feel his chest ache as the boy in his arms continued to weep. Porchay wrapped his arms around Kim, gripping his shirt tightly. Kim remained silent as he listened to Porchay's sobs. He somehow felt comforted by this hug. He was deprived of this for a long time.

After a few more minutes, Chay's cries subsided. He slowly unwrapped himself from Kim, quite shy for what he did. He wiped his eyes and face as he faced Kim, "I-I'm so sorry, Khun Kim. I m-messed your shirt. I will j-just wash it l-later." he said, sniffing and hiccuping a few times.

Kim also pulled himself off from Porchay. He was a mess. Face puffy and eyes red with tears. Kim wants to wipe his tears away, but something is stopping him from doing so. "It's fine. Don't mind it. Do you feel better?" he asked.

Chay smiled despite the tears in his eyes. He wiped his tears again, "Yes, I do feel better. Thank you, Khun Kim. Though, I don't know if I will have a good sleep tonight." he said.

Kim leaned back again to the kitchen counter and crossed his arms. "There's nothing I can do about that. I barely sleep, anyway," he said. He stared at Porchay. Kim doesn't want to admit it, but he has a soft spot for Porchay. It is insane. He just kept ignoring what his heart had been saying to him. He cleared his throat and shifted his gaze, "Try listening to your favorite song. It might help." he added.

Chay sniffed once more before speaking again, "My favorite song... is a Wik song. Does Wik have a new song?" he said, a hint of playfulness can be heard in his voice.

Kim furrowed his eyebrows, "No, I don't think he has." he dismissed and left the kitchen. He heard Porchay's soft giggle as he walked out, making his heart move once again. 

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hello! this will be the last chapter of kimchay tales: bittersweet exchange THIS YEAR. thank you for loving our beauty and the beast this year. merry christmas and happy new year! see you all in 2024!

- migy :)