KIMCHAY TALES: BITTERSWEET EXCHANGE

CHAPTER 31

"You don't lose hope, love. If you do, you lose everything."

—

"His parents? They're talking about Porchay's parents?" Kim asked Big, clarifying what his bodyguard had told him.

"Yes, Khun Kim," Big answered firmly.

"Why?" Kim questioned. It was a strange occurrence for his father to ask Porchay about his parents. Moreover, it is about the accident and who caused it. What does his father want? What does he know? Does Kim have to go over the death of Porchay's parents further?

"That's all that I know, Khun Kim," Big replied. "Why don't you just ask Porchay directly, sir?" he added.

Kim leaned back in his seat as he exhaled a deep sigh, "Porchay and I weren't exactly on speaking terms." he said bitterly. Kim and Porchay haven't spoken for days. Porchay doesn't talk to him and ignores him all the time. He was clearly upset by what Kim had done. Kim doesn't know how to approach him. Kim wanted to apologize and show Porchay how remorseful he was for the blow-up he did, but the younger lad kept shutting him down. "Gather more intel for us, Big—every single one. I want to know what Father knows," he said demandingly. Big nodded, bowed, and left Kim alone.

Kim might not show it, but he misses Porchay so much. He used to sleep beside him every night; but ever since their argument, Porchay sleeps in his quarters. Kim barely sleeps now. He has hated sleeping alone ever since he and Porchay got together. Every night he would think about how he would approach his lover, drifting off into a sleep, and waking up after a bad dream. Kim hates his nightmares, they were the worst. His nightmares were only manageable with Porchay.

As nighttime settles in in Kim's room, the sleep-deprived young man has been tossing and turning on his bed for the past couple of hours. With one defeated sigh, Kim got out of his bed and left his room. He can't do this anymore. He can handle being sleep-deprived, but being deprived of Porchay's attention and love he can't stand at all. He wants Porchay warmth now and he will get it now.

Kim stopped in front of Porchay's quarter. He was hesitant. What if Porchay is already asleep? He doesn't want to disturb him, does he? His lover might get mad at him more and he doesn't want that. Yet, Kim doesn't want to be away from Porchay anymore. It's making him crazy.

Reluctantly, Kim slowly opened the door and peeked inside. There he was, Porchay, lying on his bed with his back on him. He was probably asleep by the looks of it. He doesn't want to disturb him anymore, so Kim decides to endure one more night with him. But when he heard a soft sob from the room made him stop. It continued for a couple more minutes. Porchay is crying and it breaks Kim's heart to hear him cry.

Chay was upset. Maybe he shouldn't be so hard on Kim. He should be more understanding of his situation. Kim might have just been agitated that day and got mad like that. Also, he could see that Kim was trying hard to approach and talk to him, but he was too prideful. Now that he has cooled down, Chay regrets it now. He misses Kim so badly. Chay wiped his tears as he silently cried.

Suddenly, Chay jumped in surprise when he felt a strong pair of arms around his torso. He smelled a familiar manly scent of his lover. Kim is here, just right behind him.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart." he heard Kim whisper in his ear. He sounded so guilty and sincere. It hurt Chay so much. His lips quivered as more tears brimmed his eyes. "I don't like this, arguing with you. Let's not fight, please. I miss you so much." his lover added.

Wiping his tears, Chay spun on his lover's arms. He wrapped his own arms around him and buried his face on Kim's neck. A couple more sobs escape from his lips, "I-I should be the one who is sorry. I s-shouldn't be so hard on you, Kim. I should be m-more understanding. I am sorry, Kim." he cried, hiccupping in between his words. Chay was too guilty. He just settled on his lover's neck and cried.

Kim pulled Porchay closer to him, running his hand on his back and soothing him. He placed a kiss on his forehead, inhaled his lover's scent, and smiled. He missed him so damn much. "Stop crying, sweetheart. There's nothing for you to be sorry about. I know that I'm at fault too. I'll try to control my anger next time." he said. Porchay pulled himself away from Kim and stared at him with bloodshot eyes. Kim softly laughed, "Look at you. You look like a mess, sweetheart." he said as he wiped Porchay's tears away.

Chay let out a few more sniffles before wiping his tears. "I love you, Kim," he said affectionately. Those were the only words he managed to say. Now that Kim is beside him, he feels at ease.

"I love you too, sweetheart. Why don't we sleep now?" Kim said, softly brushing his lover's hair away from his face.

"Here?" Chay asked in confusion. "But my bed is too small for the both of us. We barely fit here. We should go back to your room." he added.

Kim shook his head, "It's fine. Isn't that good? We could squeeze here together and be close to each other." he said and snuggled closer to Porchay. This made the younger one giggle. Kim felt a hand on his hair, soft scratching on his scalp made him instantly sleepy. He smiled in contentment. Finally, a good night's sleep. No more nightmares as long as Porchay is with him.

"Good night, Kim," Porchay whispered and softly smiled at him. His face was streaked with tears. Kim promised to himself that night that he wouldn't let Porchay cry again. Kim replied with a soft "good night" to Porchay. They shared a warm kiss that Kim craved the most and a couple more "I love you" before the young couple drifted into a deep slumber.

—

That afternoon was peaceful for Kim. He was watching Porchay who was on the balcony, humming to himself while watching over the railings. He was enjoying the view of the bustling city of Bangkok that sunny day, as Kim savored the sight of his lover.

Suddenly, Big came, interrupting Kim's peace. He handed him a folder, "These were the only information I managed to gather, Khun Kim." he said.

With furrowed eyebrows, Kim grabbed the folder and opened it. His frown deepened, "What the hell is this? Why is everything blacked out?" he complained. Literally every single detail on the document was blacked out, except for a few names. The victims' names. Porchay's parents.

Big shook his head, "No one knows, Khun Kim. Even the original documents at the headquarters were blacked out." he said. "The police officer who handled the case retired early just after concluding it," he added.

Kim shifted the papers, reading the other document, "Retired at 40? Isn't that too early for retirement?" he asked, his eyes full of suspicion as he read.

"Seems like someone wants to keep this a secret, Khun Kim," Big said.

Kim licked his inside cheek, "No one could keep secrets from me." he said firmly and glanced at Porchay who was still on the balcony. This time Kim will manage things on his own hands. 

—

i can... almost see... the end of the tunnel...

- migy :)