KIMCHAY TALES: BITTERSWEET EXCHANGE

CHAPTER 33

"Take it with you so you'll always have a way to look back... and remember me."

-

Something is bothering Kim and Chay knows it. He could see it in Kim's eyes. His eyes never lie. He knew something was wrong when he saw Kim in the living room a couple of weeks ago, clutching a folder in hand. It took him multiple attempts to get his attention. Chay knew from that very moment that there was a problem. From then on, he often catches Kim in a daze, staring into nothing until he notices him staring. Kim would hide his emotions with a smile and affectionate gestures for him.

Chay wanted to ask so badly. He was extremely worried. He wanted to know what bothered his boyfriend so much. These past few days, Kim has always wanted to be close to Chay. He was always clingy and affectionate to him. It is not that Chay doesn't like it. Of course, he does. However, there were times when Kim's thoughts were too far away and it made him concerned. Yes, Kim is physically there with him, but not mentally present. Kim, then, would thoughtlessly tighten his hold of him like Chay would disappear at any moment.

As they both lay on the sofa, Kim was lying on top of him-his head resting on his chest and his soft humming entering his ears. His arms were tightly wrapped around him. Chay's hand tangled on his hair, the only place where it belonged. Kim seems to be at ease at the moment and Chay doesn't want to ruin his peace. His boyfriend is like a huge cat and his humming was his soft purr when he was content. It made him smile at the thought. The scary beast is not so scary anymore and is now purring on top of him.

Suddenly, Kim snapped his head up to look at Chay. It surprised the young man underneath him. Kim was always like this, but it always made him jump. "I love you so much, sweetheart. You know that, right?" Kim said.

There he is again with his affectionate words which made Chay's heart scream in joy. He was always like this now. Chay could instantly forget his worries when his boyfriend is like this. He smiled at him, "I know, Kim. You always say that." he said and pecked his lover's cheek, "And I love you too. I know you know that." he added. Kim stared at him for a while, eyes evident with a mixture of fondness and worry. They shared a deep and hungry kiss. Every time Kim kissed him like this, it always ignited a fire inside of Chay's system. He always wanted more and more of Kim. "K-Kim..." he whined in between their kisses.

Kim suddenly stopped and just hovered at him for a while. His desire-filled eyes stared down at him. "I... I-I'm sorry. I just couldn't get enough of you, sweetheart. I'll try to control myself next time. I'm really so-" his babble stopped when Chay kissed him.

When he pulled himself away from Kim, he smiled at him, "Too much babble, Kim. Less of that and more kissing. Can we do that? I'm not telling you to stop, anyway." he said and giggled. All of a sudden, something changed in Kim's eyes. His desire-filled orbs were now filled with-Chay guessed-perhaps, pain and guilt. Chay cupped Kim's face, his thumbs gently running across his cheeks. "Why are you always looking at me like that, Kim?" he asked, his voice was gentle and melodic.

Kim frowned, "Like what?"

"Like... Like you're guilty or in pain or something. I don't know, Kim. I am worried. Are you sick? Are you in pain?" Chay asked, his voice and eyes filled with concern for Kim. "Are you hiding something from me?"

Kim was caught off guard. He blinked multiple times, trying hard to hide his emotions away. Porchay could see it right through him. He tried to be strong, but Kim thought he was not really as strong as he thought he was. "N-No. I'm okay, sweetheart. Why wouldn't I be? Don't worry about me." he answered. He could feel his heart beating painfully fast against his chest. His anxiety was acting up again. He needs to calm down or else he will crumble down in front of Porchay.