A Part Of That [Stray Kids OT8 x Reader]

Han Jisung (Alternative)

"Hate You" by Jungkook

Jisung POV

Wasn't I obvious? Didn't they know? What if I didn't wait so long? What I knew was that everyone could tell I liked them.

You had someone all this time and never told me. Love has always been unattainable to me.

Would it have even worked? Probably not, I'm an idol and you're a journalist. Someone who's main purpose is to write about people like me. 

Til this day, I still get sad and wished our circumstances were different. I'll continue to sulk in bed and find reasons as to why I can't leave.

The memories of us came rushing back when I think about you. I feel played. You played me and I can't get it back the time I spent. I can't get back the effort or rid the feelings I had for you. Why did you do this to me?

I can't even find the words to even say that I like you anymore. I get angry with you. I'm angry when I think of you. I know it isn't right, but I can't help it. It makes me feel like I'm supposed to be angry with you.

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Another day passes without you. Memories of you come to me endlessly. The words you told me. We haven't spoken in so long. I'm holding on for too long. Cut the tie you have on me, please. I want to stop thinking of what happened or what could've been. 

You could've done anything, but you haven't. I am blaming you for things you haven't even done. It makes what I felt, easier. You had no obligations to like me, nor could I make you. Part of me wishes that we never meant.

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Before -- Y/N POV

I live alone, but I do have a partner. We been together for 914 days (2 years and 6 months). We were thinking of moving in together. It would be a lot easier for the both of us. It's about time we knew how to live together. 

Speaking of couples, since it's my job to be in people business, I know more couples who have been together and not lived together. I mean that's on them and to be fair, they're not public yet. No one would care about my relationship life. I'm a journalist, not a celebrity. I'm not getting any stories or songs written about me anytime soon.

Because of my job, a lot of famous people try to get on my good side. They don't want to be outed. Some offered money, I never take it because it goes against my policy. When that happens, that person would go straight to my company and offer the money again but personally to the company. Then, the company comes to us and tell us not to talk about said topic.

I don't befriend people like that or even talk to them on a personal level. I still got to be caution even when I talk to those friends in the limelight. It's the same with them. They won't tell me everything and I understand why. I don't want them to if that means I have to keep secrets from my job.

I'm meeting with Han of Stray Kids soon. I interview his group a couple of times. They never have any real relationship rumors, and they never tell me. I think they are just really job oriented. When I spoke to Han during those times. He always came to me with someone else and then they would soon leave.

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Jisung POV

"Hello, Han."

"Nice to see you again."

"Yes, over a cup of coffee."

"It's different seeing you outside of work related things, but I enjoy your presence."

"I agree, you're like a fresh breath of air. This place is good. You chose well."

"Aw, shoot. Thanks."

They were so pretty. I could be myself and a plus was that we worked together on occasions. I got to see them when a new comeback came, or in the halls when they worked with other groups within the company.

We stayed together until a guy came.

"Han, this is my partner."

"Oh, hello?"

I get up frantically. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't aware that they invited someone. Let only, someone who they were in a relationship with. I wanted to leave to immediately. I didn't want to be here anymore.

"Hello, Y/N/P (partner name), nice to meet you. Look at the time. I actually have to get back somewhere. You came at a good time."

"Well, Han, hit me up anytime. Have a good day."

"You too, goodbye."

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Everything has passed. I still think of that day because I live with it in my heart. Everything and anything reminded me of it for a while. I did so much for no reason, and I hated myself for it. I had songs that I would listen to thinking of them. I quite literally couldn't listen to them anymore. I can't remember what specific songs now which is a good thing. I would like to enjoy all music that I liked. That was a lesson learned and lesson forgiven. 

Y/N POV

Someone told me Han had a crush on me. How they found out was through a song he wrote about. They interviewed him about it. They did say in the article, but he had said off record since everyone around him already knew.

No one told him that I was in a long-term relationship. I didn't say anything because it was personal to me.

He didn't have to tell me that he was fond of me. It was obvious. I couldn't continue and it made me uncomfortable. It wasn't him, but the feelings that I didn't reciprocate back. I already had someone who I was happy with. I wasn't going to break up with them just because of possible feelings for Han. So, I left. I'll leave this way.

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