A Part Of That [Stray Kids OT8 x Reader]

Bang Chan/ Christopher (Alternative)

"Help Me Get Over" By Jonayln Viray

"You would say we are close, right?" Chan asked me.

"Yes."

"If I asked you a question, you won't judge?"

"I wouldn't have."

He sticks out his pinky finger.

"Promise."

"Promise."

"Okay so, I think I like someone."

"Ah, do I know this someone?"

"Very well."

Could it be me?

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, but I don't know how to approach them. I don't know how to tell them."

"You want my help."

He shakes his head.

"How about you give me a day to think. I'll come back and help then."

Could it be me? I mean we do practically spend our days together. Has he started gaining feelings that I have developed too? I'm probably thinking too into it. I should stop while I'm ahead because if not I could get my feelings hurt for a love that was never there.

-----------------

"Hey!"

He spins around in his chair as he scratches the back of his head.

"Hey, have you thought about it?"

"I have, you need pick-up lines."

"Please, be serious. I can't actually do that."

"Well, if this person knows you and likes you. They should find them enduring. So, with that being said. *Claps hands* I'll tell you one and then you go. Are you an octopus? Because you octopi my thoughts."

"Nice, I don't know how I could top that."

"Try me."

"Okay but it won't go the same if you were them... Are you a crayon? Because you bring color into my life."

"Oh wow."

We start laughing together and he falls back into the chair hiding his face. See moments like this, how could it not be me.

-----------------

Day by day, I help him try to gain confidence in pursuing the person he likes.

"Body language."

"What about it?"

"Flirt with me."

"Excuse me?"

"What would you do?"

He takes a deep breath.

"I would bring my face closer to theirs. Like this."

He gets up from his chair and brings his face closer to mine. Our noses basically touch. 

"But only when the moment is right." He sits back in his seat. "I wouldn't want to overstep boundaries."

"Uh, right."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, no doubt. I think I have some work to get done. I should get going."

"Right, goodbye then."

I quickly leave him. My heart was racing. I definitely can't tell anyone.

What actually just happened? Was that real? Stop! He doesn't like you, but why would he do that?

-----------------

"Will you ever tell me who you like?"

"Probably not, but you'll know when I walk to them."

Chan and I are sitting outside of the company together. Not doing much but just sitting and watching the city lights. He's sitting a few steps down from me.

"You should spend your day like this with the person... you like."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm sure they would like it."

"...Do you like it?"

I lower my gaze to him. I begin to shake my head.

"I do."

-----------------

We're shooting videos. I watched as they bring the script to life. I always loved watching Chan during these moments. Just watching him be him from a far. The safest distance for us. He sees me looking at him and smiles. I smile and give a subtly wave. I take a deep breathe and let out a sigh. I have a feeling that the person he likes is not me.

"One more thing." I placed both of my hands on his arm. He looks at me.

"Yes?"

"Just love them wholeheartedly. Don't hurt them."

"I will." He removes my hands and hugs me. He doesn't say anything and then leaves. 

-----------------

"Don't forget about me, okay?"

"I would never forget you. You helped me to this point."

I nod.

"And we're friends, aren't we?"

"Of course." 

Friends, that's all I was to him. Just a friend. Why would I believe any different? I held back tears with the fact that he didn't see me in that way. I watch him walk away from me. I couldn't cry in front of him or with his back towards me. That would be embarrassing.

It wasn't about me. It's about what makes him happy. I was never a real part in his life. Why would I be anyway? He's unlike anyone and that personnis lucky to have him. After all, I simple just worked at the company he was signed to.

I start to pound on my chest. It was beginning to hurt. I couldn't take watching him with someone else.

He's giggling with them. They lightly hitting his arm as he told them the pick-up lines.

Why couldn't he see me in the way he saw them? After all, I did see him first. What did they have that I don't?

They were good for each other. I couldn't deny that. He saw them and they saw him.

I watched him leave me as they walked away. They were smiling, he was smiling. I watched him follow all that we had practiced together. As they were going to leave, he turned his head to me with a bright smile and gave me a thumbs up. I forced a smile and gave a thumb up too. When they were out of view, I cried. I ran away and cried.

I requested to work in another division. I was questioned why, and I said that it was because I wanted a challenge. I was getting too comfortable. Truth is, I couldn't help being next to Chan knowing my feelings. I was jealous. Envious of what someone else had before me. I know I can't make him love or want me. I can't make him go away. So, I needed to remove myself. 

-----------------

In JYPBOB, Chan came and found me.

"Hey, it's been a while."

"Hasn't it?"

"Did you move divisions?"

"I did."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was a sudden decision. I didn't have much time."

"Was it your choice?"

"It was."

"Was there something wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. I shouldn't be talking to you anyway because of the different divisions, right? Have a nice day."

I walked away leaving the food. I couldn't keep tha act that everything was fine around him. If I told him my true feelings, it wouldn't help him and only bring guilt. He would begin to think that it was his fault. Perhaps in another lifetime. Right person, wrong time type of thing, uh?

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