A Part Of That [Stray Kids OT8 x Reader]

Changbin (Alternative)

"Pretending" by Brent Morgan

"I do't love you anymore," I tell him.

"What?"

"I can't bring myself to continue on. I would be unhappy, and I wouldn't want to put you through a one-sided relationship."

"Well, if that's how you feel."

"No hard feelings?"

"We're good."

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We had to be on many stages together. I try not to think of him when I sang the lines in my group love songs. I loved him at some point of our relationship, but I fell out of love with him. He's a good person but I can't help thinking, what if there's another person out there for me.

We acted like we didn't know each other. Strangers again, I'll say. I don't mind too much until he starts doing extremely petty things on stages. I hear from people that he still talks about me. He took the breakup oddly. He didn't fight it. He just let it happen. No questions ask, like the saying "if you love someone, let them go."

I wanted to separate because we just weren't compatible. It was too quick for me, and I couldn't slow it down. I felt like I wanted to run. Nothing made sense. How were we supposed to commit if we're both dedicated to our music? I also couldn't stand to see how well he got along with almost every women idol. I couldn't tell if he liked them or not.

I needed to find myself because I kept blaming him for things he didn't do. I knew that I had been responsible for things that I have blamed him for. I's my own insecurity. 

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My group, UiMe, have been winning awards back-to-back for our newest comeback. We're doing great and growing slowly but at a steady pace that isn't overwhelming.

A stage was coming up were Stray Kids and UiMe were going to be standing next to each other. Changbin and I stood where we could see each other. We held eye contact for a while until I broke it. The members tried their hardest to not look at him. His members did the same. Bang Chan holding onto him tightly as the rest huddled like a football team.

Back stage, we had a little freedom from the cameras though they still lingered. Changbin walked in looking for me.

"Y/N."

"Changbin, hello."

We stood for a while before we continued.

"Nice to see you."

"Yeah."

We walk back to our groups. I walked away and found him in the hallway taking pictures. I hid behind the corner watching him. He pokes his cheeks with his index finger. I heard footsteps but it was just one of the Stray Kids members going to Changbin. I continued to watch as he begins to speak to them in a soft cute voice asking them to join him. I get a tap on my shoulder and jump.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"I been standing with you for like a minute. You were watching Changbin."

"No, I wasn't... Please don't tell him."

"Sure."

He walks past the corner that I stood at. I watch him walk up to Changbin. They begin to practice a dance. I turned away and a group of girls were walking my way. I don't speak but I think they saw me standing over there. We waved passed each other. I sit on the couch waiting to leave the building with the rest of my group and managers.

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Netizens started speculating. They were right but wrong at the same time. They figured out that we had dated but they think we were still together. Both companies came out to deny the rumor.

. . .

Changbin

"Did you hear?"

"About?"

"Us."

"Yeah, well nothing we can do now. Can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"Why have you contacted me?"

"Because of the rumor. They probably saw us during the stage."

-----------------

That was months ago, we changed. When I see him around in buildings, it's awkward. We kind of avoid each other. Try not to stand next to each other. If so, my members would try and find another place to stand or stand in between us.

We were the only ones walking down the hall. He didn't dare say a word to me. It's written on his face that he wanted to say something but couldn't.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah. I'm okay."

"You know it's fine if you tell me how you actually feel. After all, we were together at some point."

"That's what I wanted to hear... 'It's fine'."

"I'm sorry."

He stops and abruptly turns to me.

"No, don't be. I understand. I hope you do great in life." He walks away fast, leaving me standing in the hall alone.

-----------------

Our past still intertwines. People still bring our relationship up even through it has been some years.

Our groups are thriving individually. One of the hottest boy and girl groups this generation.

Changbin and I are learning how to not be awkward together. We're learning about ourselves and each other from a distance. I can't say that we'll be friends, but acquaintance is the next best.

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