- {Happy? Don't make me laugh.~Suicidal Deku} -

- Day 14 -

⚠️ WARNING!!! ⚠️

I stare up at the stars. They twinkled to bright in the sky and I couldn't help but stare. I finally looked away and stared down at my pathetic body.

'I've always thought of myself as becoming a hero. A hero who saves everyone with a smile.
Was that too much to ask?

Sometimes I tell myself that everything will be okay only to know deep down that it isn't. I've always lied about my feelings. Never opening up to anyone. I've learned to keep it that way. What was I supposed to do? If I told anyone I was better off telling a wall. At least the wall would listen.

Taking Kacchans advice was never my initial plan. My plan was to tough it out. To see it through. One day it became too much and I started to get relief out of watching myself get hurt. Does that make me a sociopath?

I've always been told to please another person. If I didn't I wasn't worth anything. I would be discarded and left to rot. I was so scared of dying and now look at me. Sitting on a roof when I was told to off myself by my best friend. I don't think we're even friends. I hate how much I still want to be his friend. What's wrong with me?'

As I stand up, the wind brushes back my hair and the light of the moon shines bright over the city. This was such a nice view I wish I could see it forever. I wish life could be filled with happiness each day. Instead it's fake. This day has been one of the happiest in a while. Maybe it's because I'm going to die?

I wonder if I stayed alive and held on a little longer.. maybe.. just maybe.. it will get better.. but.. I hope I do in another universe. One where I have a quirk, and have friends. One that I can genuinely smile. One where mom didn't die. One where me and Kacchan are friends. One where I wasn't bullied.

Thinking about all of this makes me realize I went through a lot. How did I even manage? How did I make it this far without dying? Was it worth it to be alive until now? No. It wasn't. What a useless question to ask.

I slowly close my eyes as I take a deep breath. The fresh cold air filling my lungs was amazing. I just wanted to keep breathing. But then again, I didn't. I want to end this terrible life.. but on the other hand.. I wanna see where it takes me..

I feel like I'm in a battle of living and dying.. what do I do? I'm so scared but I'm so tired. I'm drained but I still want to fight. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just give up?

I don't want to die! I want to be happy! I want everyone to leave me alone and let me live my damn life. Why is everyone trying to ruin what's mine? Why can't I just be alive and do what I want?.. that's what's so fucked up about society. Nobody can get what they want. I hate society. I hate life. I hate people. I hate everything.

...

I clenched the box cutter in my hand tightly. I lifted up my sleeve to show a wrist of healed scars. As I bring the box cutter closer I hear a voice call out to me. I look behind me at the roof. A fence separating me and the voice.

"IZUKU! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!" I hear someone yell. I don't recognize their voice. As I look behind me I see a figure with cat ears and a tail. The person had short hair, and it was too dark to make out the colors. I could tell they were distressed by their voice. It was deep, like a males voice.

"W-who are you?" I didn't know how nervous I was until I spoke. My voice was shaky and I could now feel the tears that had been rushing down my freckle filled cheeks. I watched the figure come closer until they stood right in front of me. The fence blocking them from coming any closer. I looked into their eyes and I knew.

"Kiko?" My voice was low and I felt a wave of confusion pass over me as I dropped the box cutter. I looked at him shocked. I put a hand through the fence and placed it on his cheek. As I felt his soft skin I quickly retracted my hand as I looked at him with shock. He was crying but displayed a warm smile. I felt myself stop being afraid as I stared at his smile.

"Y-You're real.." I say delayed. He nods softly and puts his hand through the fence and holds mine. I look down at our hands and he puts a hand on my chin and lifts up my chin to look at his face. As we make eye contact, I feel myself get flustered.

"Izuku, it's nice to meet you in my human form. I've been watching you for so long.. I didn't know how to tell you I wasn't an actual cat.. I love being by your side. Every chance I got I would read the notes you left in your drawer. Once it hit me I became more observant over you. When you left me in the classroom, I followed you. I hid in your bag.. surprisingly you didn't notice" he says as he looks away every now and then. His voice was soft and it calmed me down just hearing it. I smile softly and nod.

"My name is Rui... I don't mind being called Kiko if that's what you want but I thought I would let you know" he says with a soft chuckle. I nod and smile. I can't help but smile. Why was his voice so soothing? Why am I falling for him just like that? How long as he had to watch me hurt myself and slowly loose myself?

"Can you please climb over this fence? I really don't want to loose you" he says with an awkward smile. I laugh a little and nod. I climb over the fence and I watch as he looks at me worried. As I jump down he quickly hugs me and holds me tightly in his arms. He rubs my back and I honestly couldn't be more comfortable. This was the best feeling ever. I wish we could stay like this forever. After a few moments he picks me up and walks over to a bench. He picks up my phone I turned off and turns it back on as he holds me close on his lap. He rests his head on my shoulder as he turns my phone on.

"0715" I say as I rest my head on his shoulder. I close my eyes as I hold him close. I hear him call someone but I couldn't care less. He holds the phone to his ear and talks quietly. My breathing slows as I start to fall asleep. The night time breeze, his voice, his comfort, his touch.. how could I not?

- Day *** -