destroy yourself

classes

I walked down the corridor with my head down trying to get to potions as quick as possible. I hated this class. Its just so boring, it's a nothing class if I'm being honest.

I step through the door and there's only a few Ravenglass in the corner talker and laughing together, they don't even realise I'm here until I sit near them and they eadge away.

As the class began to fill I hear the sound of a loud yet elegant laugh. Its potter, finally. Finally, why did I think that, did i want him here, did I miss him!? What the fuck why did I think that. Of course I dont miss him, that's obsurd.

"Draco"

"Yes sir," I say lazily as I answer the registration. I don't know how long goes by before I should probably start listening.

"Your going to be doing a partner project, it's worth half your final grade, so do it carefully" the professor said in a passive aggressive way.

"Can we choose who we want to work with sir," I heard harry say without raising his hand. Rude and pathetic!

"No, I'll be choosing" thank merlin

"Speeking off, you will be working with mr. malfoy" my heart sunk, but I also felt kind of glad, I mean at least I know him.

I stared at him and he stared back. That's the way it's always been, he hated me and I did the same for him. For 4 years. But last year when he was in the tournament a tiny bit of me felt almost sorry for him.

That he had to go through that along with everything else in his life, I knew from the start it wasn't his fault and I think secretly everyone did to. Then I saw him on the train this year. He didn't notice me but I noticed how tired he looked. The whole trail thing probably didn't help but its pretty obvious he doesn't get much attention at home. I've heard some of the stories from when he was younger.

⚠️slight mention of abuse⚠️
That the Dursleys would starve him for days and make him work on his hands and knees for hours on end till he fainted of extortion.

I'm not sure if it's true or just a rumour but I over heard some gryffindors in year 3 that his cousin and 'gang' would beet him up and that then he would get verbally abused at home by his aunt and uncle about him 'getting into too many fights'

⚠️carry on⚠️
but apart from looking so helplessly exstorted his hair was cut and in curtains, his figure was more bulky, his eyes didn't have the same sparkle in them. It made me sort of feel sorrow and like he didn't need me to be cruel to him any longer.

So I just ignored him from then on. Now I guess I have to talk to him and fake these feelings towards him. I'm so confused about that right now.

"Hi" he said as he slumped next to me in annoyance.

"Hi," I replied.

"Your project is an unpredictable time length, it could be 2 - 5 month. Its up to you how and when you finish it. Just make sure it's done. Better start now." great. 5 months with potter, I guess I could do that. How bad could it be.

"I don't want to fail and we don't have a choice on this so you need to work with me and we will get it done faster," potter said in a angry whisper sort of way.

"Exactly what I was going to say" is all I could manage to get out my mouth.

"Where we meeting then?"

"Library, 4 o'clock Thursday"

"If this going to work you have to speek in full sentences."
At that I walk out. How aregant can one person get, seriously.

~~~~~~

At the end of the day i skiped dinner, didn't really appeal to me. I decided to go to the astronomy tower for some peace and fresh air.

I love going up there and just staring at all the stars for hours with no interruptions. However when I got there I saw very familiar brown hair. Ugh why potter out of everyone.

"Why are you here?" I ask

"No reason," the boy turned around in a flash, almost like I scared him. Has he been crying?

"No need to be so rude. It's just your not at dinner!?"

"Neither are you malfoy"

"Don't feel like eating"

"Nor do I, now can you get out"

"What no! I just got here, I'm not going to the hall"

"Well I got here first didn't I besides you have a fancy non sharing dorm to go to don't you"

"Your so rude, you know that"

"good, no one deserves to be nice you"
That's it that was my final straw

"Fine. If that's how you feel potter" shit, shit, shit, my eyes are beginning to tear up. One drops onto my stone cold face.

"Are yo-"

"SHUT UP! YOU KNOW NOTHING!" I scream back. I span and ran out of there straight to my dorm as fast as I could.

~~~~~~

⚠️s3lf h$4m⚠️
When i got to my room I rip my robe of and go into my bathroom. I open the cupboard upove the sink and scramble around in an old rusty tin at the back. I roll up my sleeve and with looking through tear filled eyes I scrap the blade across the skin.

I do it again, and again. Until my arm has blood trailing down it. As I place more plasters over my arm I feel release and regret at once. I was doing good and now I failed. Why did I do that. It wasn't that deep but it feels so good and like i can breath again.

⚠️carry on⚠️
I get into bed after having a shower softly holding my arm. I slowly shut my eyes and don't dream.

-1029 words.