destroy yourself

nightmare

I wake startled after a nightmare. I look around in a hurry and see the time; 2.54am. I feel funny. It feels like it's getting harder to breathe, my hands start to shake.

Harry then wakes up and I look at him not being able to speek.

"Draco, draco are you alright?"

I can't reply to him I just get tears in my eyes.

⚠️p@n1c @tt4ack⚠️
I stand up and pace up and down. I try to breathe slow, deep breaths but it's not working. My hands are shaking and the air feels thin.

"Draco, sit down, please"

I don't know what he's going to do but I just sit anyway.

"So, after Christmas we get our projects back. You excited?"

I really have no idea what he's doing but I knowtess my breathing slowing slightly.

"I- i- I don't think its fair for- for"

I'm crying and my breathing is still heavy but my hands have stopped shaking and I can get some words out so what ever he's doing is working.

"It's okay, deep breaths"

I listen to him. In and out, in and out.

⚠️carry on⚠️
"I don't think it's very fair to say- to say our project. I- I did most the work"

He smiles at that then laughs slightly.

"That's true to be honest"

I can breathe easier now and I lean back on the chair. Harry holds my face and wipes away my tears softly.

"What was that?"

"A panic attack" he says looking away.

"How did you know how to stop it?"

"I get them from time to time. They've goten better since being out the Dursleys but they've never gone completely."

He huggs me and just relaxes into him warmly and I realise how much he needed this so I hold him tightly back.

"I think we should go up to my bed, it will be more comfy" he says still in each others embrace.

I nod and we both stand up and walk up the stairs.

"Thank you" I say to him when we're under the blankets.

~~~~~~

When i wake up harrys still asleep and I just gaze at him in awe for a bit. After a while I decide to go down stairs.

I walk into the kitchen and the time is only 6.12am and no one else is awake.

I notice a letter with my name on in a brown envelope on the door mat. I wonder who it's from and who knows I'm here so I go pick it up and walk over to the living room.

I slowly open it with lots of hesitation.

Draco,

Get back home now or I will find you and you won't be able to run away.

If you dont get home by 4.00pm tonight I'll find you and harry.

Lucius malfoy

Oh no! This isn't good at all. I can't go back but I can't let my father hurt harry, no chance.

I go upstairs, numb. I don't wake harry up but just leave him a note with the parchment and quill left on his desk.

Dear harry,

I'm so sorry but I've got to go. Its not you.

I need you to be safe and I don't think I'll see you next year at hogwarts.

Please don't hate me or yourself for this, it's out my control.

From draco x
      -don't come find me, please

~~~~~~

I arrive back at malfoy Manor and open the door slowly, not wanting to one bit.

I step in and I'm greeted with dark empty walls and big, depressing rooms. I walk into the kitchen and see my father sanding there with his back to the door.

"Hello"

"Draco, there you are."

"Look, why am I here, you clearly hate me and-"

"You stupid boy! Go up to your room now. I don't want to see you."

I don't try and fight back because if I do it won't end well. I flop onto my bed and just sink in not wanting to move and deep down inside of me wanting harry to come find me.

And not so deep down inside me I know he will come find me because thats who he is.

-705 words.