destroy yourself

all over again

I wake up wrapped in harrys arms and smile to myself. I just stop for a minute and stare at him thinking how lucky I am.

I get up and go to the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth. Harry walks in with his bed hair and sleepy eyes. I giggle at him.

I wash my hands and get my sleeves all wet.

"Ugh! I hate it when this happens"

"What?" Harry questions.

"My sleeves are soacked now"

"Look just do this"

He grabs my rists and pulls up my sleeve. He suddenly frowns and I rember my cuts.

"Draco, not again"

"I'm sorry, Harry, I really am but you should of seen they way he was talking to me and how he was treating me I tried not to but i-" I say back in a rush.

"Hey, it's okay. I just want you to be better and know how much you deserve this life and now your dad will be gone, out your life." He reassures.

"Yah, I guess"

"You need to tell sirius and remus. As much as I'll be there for you I can't do as much as an adult can"

"No! You don't understand I cant"

"I'll be there the with you the whole time but you have to"

I let out a deep breathe knowing that i will have to tell them.

"I know but I don't want to"

"I know, it will be hard but trust me. It will be okay"

~~~~~~

After I told remus and sirius what I did again Harry look relived but also sort of disappointed in me.

"Can I talk to draco by myself a seconds guys." sirius looks to them both, I don't know why he asked cause he would of made them anyway.

They both leave and it's just me and him sat opposite each other at the kitchen table. I look down as it's uncomfortable and i don't know what to say. Sirius speaks up after what feels like years.

"Draco, I know what's its like. I grew up in a very similar house hold and trust me your so lucky you got out of it when you did. I went through what you have and did the same things to cope.

I know it's an annoying thing to hear but trust me were here. I know it doesn't feel like it and it feels like your never going to get better but you will.

It takes time and effort and help. But mostly the mindset your in. Its hard to think but if you don't start to help yourself and start to actually want to get better it never will happen.

It sounds stupid but when you feel like you want to or need to just take a walk. It helps you clear your head and if it's dark outside then walk about the house or read a book. Try drift your mind away from it.

And harry knows what it's like and he's over come it, it was hard to watch and it's hard for him to remember but he did it, you can to.

The thing is draco, we all want you to be safe and happy that's why we're doing what we're doing to your dad, trust me, trust all of us, it will be okay, you'll be okay."

I sit there quietly still with my head bowed. Its alot too take in and what does he meen harrys been through the same? I try just clear my head for a second and stop thinking.

"Thank you sirus, I really do appreciate it. I'll try my very hardest and will always ask for help when and if I need it." Even though only half of thats true I still believe in myself slightly which counts for something.