destroy yourself

detention

I flutter my eyes open and remember the events of last night. For fucks sake.
I don't go to any classes today, instead I just sit and stare at my ceiling, I don't feel like doing anything or seeing anyone. I realise I haven't eaten in 4 days so try and sneek to the kitchens.

I get half way there and mogonagol stops me.

"Excuse me, malfoy, professor dumbledore wants to see you in his office."

"Why?" I say back stubbornly.

"Just go, you know the password"

That can't be good I think as I start walking up the dark, stone stairs. I reach the massive statue

"Sherbert lemon"

~~~~~~

The steps start to turn into place and spin as I get on them. His office is the complete opposite of snapes. Its warm and has a welcoming feel to it like I can just start talking and all my problems will spill out my mouth and be solved in an instant. I think I feel like this because I want it to be true.

I spot the sorting hat in the corner and look at it sternly like it could see me and be afraid.

"Ahh, Mr. Malfoy your here, good"

"Yes," I reply in a way to let him know I really don't want to be here.

"Your not in trouble, just want a chat"

Chats always leed me into trouble so I don't know what he's on about.

"I know your going through a rough patch and I know how you cope"

I notice him glancing down at my arm. How does he know? I think.

"Thats none of your business professor"

"I promise you think it, and you think it's just magically going to get better but it won't if you don't ask" he says in an annoyingly calm way, I let him carry of though.
"Help will always be given at hogwarts for people who need it"

I don't know why but it spills out, not the way I wanted it to though.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN. IF YOU KNOW IM STRUGGLING FOR ALL THESE YEARS AND NOW YOU WANT TO HELP! WHY BECAUSE I HAVE PLASTERS ON MY RISTS. YOU NEVER HELP ANYONE UNLESS THERE HARRY POTTER. YOU DONT GET TO SAY THAT SO PISS OFF WITH YOUR HELP!!"

I take a step back as i regret it but at the same time he needed to hear it, it's true and the end of the day.

"I know your angry bu-"

Oh merlin why do I need to speek. You don't.

"Angry, professor I couldn't give a shit about anything. Not about you, this school or myself. I'm not a bit angry I'm furious."

"I understand that I do but please just stop"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, DONT YOU GET A HINT"

I go to walk out but I try and open the door and it's locked. I turn around and all he says is...

"Detention, cleaning coldrons, tonight!"

Honestly I don't care. I really couldn't care if I have a detention. I storm out and make sure to slam the door really hard in the process. I hate that man I really do.

~~~~~~

I walk into the potions classroom and see potter. Great. can I just have one day without seeing him.

I just walk straight past without saying a thing or looking at him. I can feel his gaze on me though, I hate it. I just get straight to work and start scrubbing at the rusty pieces of metal.

"I'm sorry that I shouted at you last night" he speeks up like he wants to talk to me.

"Don't bother"

"Hey, I'm trying to be nice here."

"I don't care. I don't need your pitty do i"

I stand up straight facing him.

"Oh my god, you really think I'm trying to potty you" he graps my rist and I wince.

"STOP"

"What the hell malfoy, whats the matter"

"Nothing, please stop. I think you should go, I'll do the rest"

I could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. I just really didn't want him seeing me cry.

"Malfoy..." he said in a soothing voice

"Please" my voice cracked and wobbly, oh merlin.

He just walks out. I'm not mad but I was kinda of hoping he would comfort me in some way.

~~~~~~

I keep my head down as I walk into the the great hall. I sit down and start to eat some potatoes. I'm just about to finish eating a bit of ham when I hear my name coming from the table behind me.

"I'm kind of worried about him. He doesn't seem right." I hear potter saying.

"It's malfoy, what do you expect" granger replies in a board sort of tone.

"Hes probably got the dark mark or something" Ron said way to loud.

I stand up and go over to them. I don't want them thinking I have it.

"Hey, look guys, I don't have the 'dark mark' or whatever you want to call it and have no intention of getting it. I want you to get that through you head alright!"

I leave the great hall and go to the kitchen. Where I wanted to go all along. I just sneek some mince pies and leave. On my way back to the common room all I can think about it that brown haired boy in the glasses.

I get a funny butterfly feeling in my stomach thinking about him. I snap myself out of it and press it right down. I can't be thinking like that you fool.

I reach the common room and get a sweep of cold air hit me. It's horrible down here.

-955 words.