Ready Or Not

Ch 9 - Lottery

** Jordyn's POV **

I distinctly remember the moment I realized my mistake. I opened up the little packet of birth control pills to take my nightly dose. I was supposed to start taking the placebo doses that night. You know, the inactive ones that you take the week of your period to keep you in the habit of taking them regularly. It was a Sunday night, but I somehow had two of the regular pills left. That meant I had missed two sometime during the past three weeks. How the hell did I not notice before?

I wasn't on the pills for birth control purposes. I had started taking them when I was 17 because my periods were so irregular and painful. They were lifesavers as far as that went. But because it wasn't super important to never miss a dose, I admit that I did have a tendency to forget one on a rare occasion. But two in the same month? And of course it would be the very month in which I'd had sex for the first time in ages. Sex with Luke. Good lord.

I tried to remain calm and told myself that it would be fine. What were the chances that I missed those pills during the one or two days that mattered most? I probably had just as good of a chance to win the lottery. Right? All I could do was wait and see.

So I waited. And waited some more. At the end of the week I had some vague discomfort, like I was bloated and getting ready to start, but my period never came. I tried to convince myself that I'd just thrown off my cycle by missing those two pills. Or that I was just stressing about it so much that it caused me to skip my period. But after a couple more weeks I could no longer deny it. I was surely pregnant.

I waited until I was home alone one day to take a pregnancy test. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped that stupid stick in the toilet. I wasn't a bit surprised when the pink positive sign showed up immediately. There was no need to wait three minutes.

In my heart I already knew. But having it confirmed was like someone kicking me in the gut. I felt like the entire room had been deprived of oxygen. I had a million thoughts running through my head, yet my mind was blank. And I actually vomited, not from morning sickness, but from pure terror.

After I recovered, I disposed of the evidence. There was no way I was ready for Jodie to know that I was having a baby. Luke's baby. Oh my god.

I didn't even know where to start. I knew I needed to see a doctor. So I did call my gynecologist right away, as she was also an obstetrician. But the appointment wasn't for another two weeks.

I had a decision to make. I would be keeping the baby. There was no question about that. But what I wasn't sure about was whether or not to tell Luke. It could turn his world upside down. How would I even tell him anyway? It wasn't like I could just call him up or drive to his house and blurt it out. So that was something else I was going to have to figure out, if I went that route.

The days wore on at a snail's pace. I went through the motions of dealing with school, but often found my mind wandering. Work was a little more helpful with distraction because it was always a madhouse with toddlers running around everywhere. But then that would make me wonder how it was going to be having my own toddler getting into everything.

My constant stressing started to take a toll on me. I couldn't sleep and had zero energy. And at the same time, I started having morning sickness. Rather, all fucking day sickness. I didn't actually throw up much. Not even on a daily basis. But I was constantly nauseated, 24/7. And not a damn thing helped. I tried every remedy I read about, but it was all in vain.

The nausea is what caused Jodie to notice something wasn't right. We were on our way to our parents' house for the day. I had to have her pull over because I was so sick. I heaved and heaved, but nothing would come out, as usual. It was the most miserable feeling ever.

I had done that more than once in a few days, and Jodie pointed it out. She leaned against the car with me and rubbed my back for a minute before saying, "Jordyn, this isn't normal. Unless..." Making eye contact with her was a mistake because the concern on her face caused me to lose my resolve. As I sobbed in her arms, she hugged me and quietly told me, "It's going to be okay, sis."

We sat in the car on the side of the freeway until I couldn't cry anymore. I voiced all the concerns that I had kept to myself for the past several weeks. Jodie mostly listened, which is what I needed most. But she did make me smile when she said, "I swear to God, Jor. If Luke doesn't step up to the plate, I'll find him and stuff his balls down his throat. You know I will." She was still bitter about Ashton, and had nothing nice to say about anyone of the male gender.

My talk with her basically confirmed that the choice I was leaning towards was the correct thing to do. I had to tell Luke. And if he chose to not be in the baby's life, then so be it. It would be his loss. If he did, then we would just have to deal with it and make the distance work somehow.

I told Mom and Dad that day as well, which was a huge weight off of my shoulders. I knew all along that, even if they were disappointed, they would be supportive. They really were the best parents in the world. If Luke and I could be half the parents mine were, our child would be blessed. Wow. Thinking of myself as a parent was something that would take some getting used to.