Freedom
I puffed my cigarettes while thinking about the conversation. Reason? He was fooling around? He doesn't like me at all? He's not...gay?
If Rade would use an alibi about games and whatever, he thinks I wasn't playing when I started this too? That wouldn't even cut. Edi talo pa rin siya kasi nahulog siya. His little game backfired on him.
"Baka nasa bitter phase? Hindi matanggap na mas nagustuhan mo 'yung kapatid?" si Rick nang mag-inuman kaming dalawa total nangungulit siya na mag-usap.
I told him I had already talked to Chloe just to satisfy his curiosity. And now he was so invested, despite the small details I told him.
Hindi ko alam kung mas gusto ko bang hindi nalang nalaman ni Rick, o matutuwa ako na hindi siya nat-trigger pero ganitong pang-uusisa naman ang gagawin. Though I know why he's quite invested too,.
"Kakausapin mo na ba? Kausapin mo na! Anong kinakatakot mo? Bading!"
Ngumisi ako. "Oo nga bading."
Humalakhak siya. "Ano? Gusto mong tawagan 'yung dalawa pang bading? Pag-usapan natin 'yang kabadingan mo."
I rolled my eyes while smiling. Gago na 'to.
"Tawagan ko? Ano? Sige na. Magaling mag advice si Shiloh." Seryoso niyang kinuha ang phone sa bulsa niya.
Umiling ako. "Huwag na. Mandadamay ka pa. It's not a big deal, Rick."
"Pero ayos kasi 'yang pinag-uusapan para hindi mabigat dalhin. Para lang hindi mo kinikimkim. Ano pang silbi na marami kang kaibigan pero wala ka namang pinagsasabihan diyan sa problema mo?"
Wow. Where did he get those inspirational words? It sounded like Shiloh.
But at the same time, I noticed how Rick was now too open to talk about gay-related things. His therapy must have been helping him to understand himself better—or to cope with his trauma at least.
"Tara sa cafe, Mav. Tang inang minor 'to. Balak pa akong patayin," reklamo ni Tyler habang lumalabas kami sa school.
Pagkapasok namin, namataan ko agad sa table si Rade kasama si Verena. They got a pile of books, as usual.
Umangat ang tingin niya hanggang nahanap ang mga mata ko. He then glanced at Tyler, who was busy ranting about his small problem with his minor subject.
Dumeritso kami ni Tyler sa counter. He didn't tease me about Rade anymore, or maybe because he already found it absurd since I already told him to stop making jokes. Hindi niya na inulit.
We occupied the seat near them since it was the only thing that was vacant. It was always reserved for Tyler. I don't know how he does it, but maybe he always pays for his own space or he got his way on the manager since it was a woman. Iba pa naman 'to. Kahit nga parking space sa school meron din siyang kanya. He's flexing his money shamelessly.
"Bahala si ma'am. Akala niya siguro takot ako sa kanya?" ani Tyler at nag open ng YouTube sa halip na magstudy.
My phone beeped.
Rade:
Let's talk for a bit?
I purposely ignored the message and joined Tyler in watching a basketball game on his laptop. We were trying to learn from their moves.