Accept
Why is he here? Mommy was curious that she also looked at the gate when she completely remembered the name since Riri was mentioning Arki's name countless times.
Mabilis kong pinatay ang hose at lumapit sa gate, nagtago sa gilid, habang tinitingnan si Lala na lumingon sa akin. Umiling agad ako.
"I'm not here," I mouthed properly, gesturing for it.
Kumunot ang noo saglit ni Lala, pilit pang inintindi, at tumingin ulit sa harap.
"Good afternoon, Lala..." Rade greeted in his usual baritone voice.
"G-Good afternoon! Si...Si Mavric ba? Ah wala dito eh!" she reasoned naturally.
"Ah hindi. I actually came here for...this..."
Hindi ako ang ipinunta? Hindi ako? At bakit hindi ako?
"Oh! Kanino 'to? Kay Riri?" nagagalak na tanong ni Lala.
"Yes. Nanganak 'yung aso namin..." he stated while Lala was now reaching for something.
Si Mavi? Babae pala 'yon?
"Sige! Ibibigay ko! Salamat..."
"Lala, papasukin mo muna," imbita ni Mommy na naglalakad na rin patungo sa gate.
What...the...
I shook my head to let her know I didn't wanna see him. Ngunit hindi na ako pinakinggan ni mommy at pursigido siya na papasukin kaya mabilis akong tumakbo sa pinakalikuran ng bahay para doon magtago.
Whatever my mother is planning—that she was welcoming him—is bad news to me. Though I would really appreciate it if she apologized to Rade too, which might also shock her that Arki is Rade.
Mabigat ang ginawa niya. I don't think an apology is acceptable for what she has done. But she must be accountable for what she did, no matter how the person doesn't want to accept it.
I stayed outside, leaning against the wall beside our big trash cans while tilting my head and getting a glimpse through our big windows to see them inside. Riri and Jester ran to him. Pinagkaguluhan nilang dalawa at nagsisigaw sa tuwa dahil sa dala niyang tuta.
Umabot sa talampakan ang natitirang galit ko. Inalis ko ang tingin at humalukipkip sa pader.
Am I too harsh if I don't wanna see him anymore? At ano naman ang kailangan niya? I have nothing to offer now. My feelings for him completely vanished the moment I cut it off.
Though there was a hollow feeling left in me, I'm not sure if...I could still accept it—Teka lang? Dumalaw lang naman. At hindi ako ang sinadya, ah? Kaya bakit ako nagdadrama rito na akala mo luluhuran niya ako at magmamakaawang tanggapin ko ulit?
Ginulo ko ang buhok at napayuko. Badtrip. Nakakangalay maghintay! Baka magiging kaamoy ko na itong basurahan saka sila matatapos! At bakit ba ako ang nagtatago rito? Para namang ako ang may kasalanan.
O baka nga maghintay pa 'yan hanggang magdamag para makita ako! Pwes patigasan kami. Hinding hindi ako magpapakita.
I don't know how Rade feels that he got brave enough to come here and show himself to the woman who wrecked their family. Dahil ako, hinding hindi ako magpapakita sa bahay nila. Why would I even do that? For what? Masusuntok ko lang ang dad niya.
But he completely showed up. Or maybe he was the kind of person who doesn't break his promise, which is why he forced himself and brought the puppy he promised to Riri. O baka nga...ginawa niya lang 'yang rason para makita ako.
Naghimutok ako sa gilid ng basurahan at tumayo ulit para silipin sila. I've seen the controlled rage in Rade's face while my mother talks to him on the sofa in her apologetic face.
